A Lesson From Bambi

*I've been debating whether or not to say anything...I don't like conflict or confrontation.*

We all remember the cute little deer named Bambi who stole our hearts in the animated movie.  There is a specific scene in that movie where a little bunny named Thumper tries to teach Bambi words.  He teaches him the words bird and flower.  As Bambi gets more confident in using his words he accidentally calls a skunk flower.  Thumper laughs at Bambi, but is quickly reprimanded by his mother who asks him, "what did your father teach you this morning?"  And Thumper replies, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

I believe we all need to take a moment to remember the lesson little Thumper taught us.  It seems like lately people are forgetting how hurtful words can be, or how ignorant they can sound if they speak before they think.

I first want to say I am not pointing fingers at any specific people or using this post as a way to confront people without actually confronting them (there is a term for this but I can't think of what it is).  Believe me, I've confronted people already.  I second want to say I often do not think before I speak and am sorry if this has caused you any hurt.  I know I eat my words a lot, and sound ignorant a lot and I am working on it.  Thirdly and lastly I want to say that yes, I would much rather hear the truth from someone rather than something nice.  For example, I would much rather hear "Molly your house smells like dog" so I can fix it rather than people saying my house smells good but really they are holding their breath.  Get it???

Ok, so the reason for all of this.

Since the announcement of Duke people keep asking about our living / moving / my job / etc. situations and to be honest we haven't even talked about it.  Before match day we talked about many, many, many different scenarios.  Would we sell our house, would we rent our house, would Tom move and I stay, would we both go, and the list went on and on.  We never made any decisions, but kind of felt like since the fellowship is only a year I might stay and Tom might go.  Many factors go into this decision (that hasn't been made yet) one of which is the dogs.

Because the fellowship is only a year we obviously wouldn't purchase a new home, but instead try and rent an apartment or house.  Many Most rental places do not allow you to have dogs.  If they do it is like one dog under 50 pounds if that, so having 2 dogs over 50 pounds puts us at a huge disadvantage.

Lately, as I've explained our situation I've gotten a wide variety of responses / opinions.  Most ranging from, "Wow I don't know if I could be away from my husband for a year!" to "He'll be super busy anyway you might as well stay."  Those kinds of responses are great.  The responses like, "Why don't you just take your dogs back to the shelter you got them from, then your problems will be solved" and "Can't you just kennel your dogs for the year" are not great.  Seriously people?!?!?  You obviously do NOT know Tom or I very well to suggest something like that.

First of all, we rescued both of our dogs from Shelters.  They both had been abused and still show signs of it when scared.  We've worked really hard to get them where they are today, and honestly they are a part of our family.  They've learned to trust and love us, and we've learned to trust and love them.  I can't imagine taking a shower and not having Rocky laying on the bath mat next to me, or Addie licking my hand in the morning after she hears me press snooze one to many times.

Yes I know I bitch and moan about them, and yes they drive me crazy half the time, but so does Tom and I wouldn't send him back to the shelter just to make my life easier.  I love him and I love them and getting rid of them is NOT an option.

Opinions and honesty are appreciated when helpful and realistic but let's all remember, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."  Because hearing "get rid of your dogs" makes me sad and is not nice.

And really, who could get rid of these sweet babies???

Yes I realize they are dogs and not humans, but I believe they have feelings just like we do.  I could never let them down after all this and send them back to a Shelter or Kennel for that matter.

XO XO,

Rocky and Addie's Mom

P.S. please remember this is ONE factor in a bucket of many that will determine what Tom and I feel is best for OUR marriage, and OUR situation.  Thank you to those of you who have been supportive and have listened, Tom and I both really appreciate it.

Thoughts

The past few days I, like many all over the world, am having a hard time tearing my eyes away from the TV.  I can't comprehend what happened in Connecticut  or why it happened.  I can't wrap my brain around the cold hard facts.  The only story line I can understand?  The teachers being hero's.

I've been in the trenches first hand.  I know that one minute you can be pulling your hair out because little Joey pooped on the floor and sweet little Victoria stepped in it (true story), and the next minute you would do anything to keep your students safe.  The stories coming out about teachers locking students in closets, bathrooms, kiln rooms, and storage closets don't surprise me in the least.  It's in the deepest part of a teachers being to do the best you can for each individual student in every circumstance.  Of course no one ever expects that the circumstance would be something so terrible.  All schools and teachers train for the worst and from the stories surfacing, these teachers did exactly what they were trained to do and more.  They really are the true hero's.

As I've been reflecting upon this tragedy, I was reminded why I went into teaching.  I went back and found my essay on "Why I want to be a teacher".  I think it puts into perspective how serious teachers are in making the decision to become teachers.  It is not a light-hearted decision.  For many, like me, it is a long path that leads to becoming a teacher.

Trying to answer the question, why I want to be a teacher, is like explaining why the sky is blue.  There are many easy ways to answer why the sky is blue, but to really answer the question one must go into much detail about the reflection of the water on the planet and its effects on the sky.  Comparatively, there are many answers I could give to answer the question, why I want to be a teacher.  I could say I want to be a teacher because I like to help people.  Although true, that is not the real reason why I want to be a teacher.  I want to be a teacher because I want to prove to children and society that a person’s background does not have to set up or break down goals one wants to achieve.  I want to be a teacher because I know it is what I am meant to do.

Of course I would be lying if I said, I have always wanted to be a teacher.  Shown true through my undergraduate college degree, English.  I began college life as an elementary education major, but found I was not ready to commit to the same day to day schedule I had already experienced my entire life.  I needed time to mature and I needed time to experience what life offered outside the school walls.  I was stuck in a small university setting in small town Iowa ready to break down the walls I had put up for myself.  I knew I needed a change.

I decided I needed to do some soul searching to find out what really was going to make me happy in the long run.  I quickly realized staying in the small university setting was not an option and began applying to different universities all across the country.  With little time I knew there was no way I could visit all the universities I applied to, and decided to enroll at the University of Iowa.  A university a little closer to home, but in a setting which would allow for some much needed personal growth.  After making the decision to transfer I could not force myself to stay in Storm Lake, Iowa.  I quickly signed up for a study abroad program that would send me across the ocean to Sevilla, Spain.  I knew this would be my chance to find myself, to push my boundaries, and to get away from the uneventful life presenting itself to me.

Struggling with the language barriers became my best enemy.  I was able to stretch not only my Spanish vocabulary, but also my English and universal hand signals.  I was welcomed into the house of Imaculada Rosa-Garcia.  A single mother with two amazing children ages five and eight.  When I arrived the children knew very little English, and I knew even less Spanish.  I was inspired by their interest in my language and decided to help them learn a few words each day, basic words such as “Hello” and “Good Morning”.  Following in my footsteps they began to teach me the equivalent Spanish words and by the second week we were both speaking quite well in the other language.  By the time my stay was over I confidently spoke Spanish everywhere I went, and the children continually impressed their schoolteachers and friends with their accelerated English usage.

When I arrived back to the states, I was relieved to be heading to the University of Iowa.  I had a new outlook on life and was refreshed and ready to start a new journey.  I began taking general education courses and felt through these courses I could discover if there was anything else besides education calling my name.  I stumbled into a nonfiction-writing course and excelled greatly.  My professor encouraged me to submit a writing sample for the advanced nonfiction-writing program and to my surprise I was admitted.  By accepting the offer to complete the program I had to put thoughts of becoming a teacher to the side, due to the fact this program would fulfill the requirements to receive an English degree.  I knew this offer was a once in a lifetime offer, and I could not deny myself the chance to excel at something new.  I also knew that if teaching was my true calling in life I could come back to it.

While enrolling for classes my last semester I came up three hours short to be considered a full time student.  I searched all types of classes to take and became intrigued by the name of an education class, 20^th Century Educational Issues.  I quickly enrolled in the class and found myself anxious to begin the class the following fall.  On the first day of the class I found I had signed up for a graduate level course.  My professor did not mind if I stayed, but warned me she would expect the same out of me as the graduate students.  It turned out to be the most inspirational class and the defining moment where I knew there was no other option but for me to continue my education to become an educator.

Throughout the class I focused my attention on the tracking debate and the argument that children are set up for success or failure due to family trends and backgrounds.  I became passionate about giving each and every child a chance no matter what their background, and proving to them they can do anything they put their minds to.  In today’s society a child should not be defined by the highest achievement of a parent, they should be defined by the goals they set for themselves.  They should be encouraged and pushed to reach those goals, and most importantly they should be told they can do it.  It is unfortunate that many children today are being told how far they will succeed, instead of being told how far they can succeed.

It is for all the children out there being told they will not go to college and will not succeed that I want to be a teacher.  I want to prove to children, even if just a few at a time, they can break the boundaries society has set up for them, just as I broke the boundaries I set up for myself.  Along the way questions such as why the sky is blue will be answered, but hopefully in the answers that I give I will inspire the future meteorologist, pilot, or teacher.

As we move on from this recent tragedy, let's all take time to remember the true hero's who made the ultimate sacrifice, and those who undoubtedly saved many lives.

*The preceding in no way is meant to be facts or opinions based on real individuals involved in the recent events that took place in Connecticut.  It is simply a personal narrative on how I am feeling, how I feel about teaching in general, and what I have heard in the news stories.  Obviously this is an ongoing investigation where stories presented may turn out to be false.  I appreciate each and every one of my readers and hope any opinions or statements left in the comment section will reflect sensitivity to the subject at hand.*