*I've been debating whether or not to say anything...I don't like conflict or confrontation.*
We all remember the cute little deer named Bambi who stole our hearts in the animated movie. There is a specific scene in that movie where a little bunny named Thumper tries to teach Bambi words. He teaches him the words bird and flower. As Bambi gets more confident in using his words he accidentally calls a skunk flower. Thumper laughs at Bambi, but is quickly reprimanded by his mother who asks him, "what did your father teach you this morning?" And Thumper replies, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."
I believe we all need to take a moment to remember the lesson little Thumper taught us. It seems like lately people are forgetting how hurtful words can be, or how ignorant they can sound if they speak before they think.
I first want to say I am not pointing fingers at any specific people or using this post as a way to confront people without actually confronting them (there is a term for this but I can't think of what it is). Believe me, I've confronted people already. I second want to say I often do not think before I speak and am sorry if this has caused you any hurt. I know I eat my words a lot, and sound ignorant a lot and I am working on it. Thirdly and lastly I want to say that yes, I would much rather hear the truth from someone rather than something nice. For example, I would much rather hear "Molly your house smells like dog" so I can fix it rather than people saying my house smells good but really they are holding their breath. Get it???
Ok, so the reason for all of this.
Since the announcement of Duke people keep asking about our living / moving / my job / etc. situations and to be honest we haven't even talked about it. Before match day we talked about many, many, many different scenarios. Would we sell our house, would we rent our house, would Tom move and I stay, would we both go, and the list went on and on. We never made any decisions, but kind of felt like since the fellowship is only a year I might stay and Tom might go. Many factors go into this decision (that hasn't been made yet) one of which is the dogs.
Because the fellowship is only a year we obviously wouldn't purchase a new home, but instead try and rent an apartment or house.
Lately, as I've explained our situation I've gotten a wide variety of responses / opinions. Most ranging from, "Wow I don't know if I could be away from my husband for a year!" to "He'll be super busy anyway you might as well stay." Those kinds of responses are great. The responses like, "Why don't you just take your dogs back to the shelter you got them from, then your problems will be solved" and "Can't you just kennel your dogs for the year" are not great. Seriously people?!?!? You obviously do NOT know Tom or I very well to suggest something like that.
First of all, we rescued both of our dogs from Shelters. They both had been abused and still show signs of it when scared. We've worked really hard to get them where they are today, and honestly they are a part of our family. They've learned to trust and love us, and we've learned to trust and love them. I can't imagine taking a shower and not having Rocky laying on the bath mat next to me, or Addie licking my hand in the morning after she hears me press snooze one to many times.
Yes I know I bitch and moan about them, and yes they drive me crazy half the time, but so does Tom and I wouldn't send him back to the shelter just to make my life easier. I love him and I love them and getting rid of them is NOT an option.
Opinions and honesty are appreciated when helpful and realistic but let's all remember, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." Because hearing "get rid of your dogs" makes me sad and is not nice.
And really, who could get rid of these sweet babies???
Yes I realize they are dogs and not humans, but I believe they have feelings just like we do. I could never let them down after all this and send them back to a Shelter or Kennel for that matter.
XO XO,
Rocky and Addie's Mom
P.S. please remember this is ONE factor in a bucket of many that will determine what Tom and I feel is best for OUR marriage, and OUR situation. Thank you to those of you who have been supportive and have listened, Tom and I both really appreciate it.
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