You'll thank me for sharing all of this in one post

Recent happenings that I have chosen not to write entire blog posts about.  You will understand quickly why.

• I sat on the couch and smelled a smell.  I thought Tom was making a hot dog.  I then looked to my left and saw a pile of dog poop on the floor.  Not good for hot dogs.

Yes the poop is steaming

• I have a new appreciation for a friend.  We absolutely can't stand the same person.  Have you ever noticed how if you don't like someone or something and another person feels the same way you instantly become friends?  Love it!
•  Tom and I hopped on the green smoothie bandwagon.  We are both really loving it as are our intestines.  Although the budget for Febreeze air freshener has gone up considerably.

Tom happy with his smoothie.  Check out those guns!

 My favorite green smoothie concoction so far is: 1cup spinach leaves, small handful of cucumber, small handful of celery, big handful of broccoli, half an avocado, banana, honey, water, ice.  Blend it up and drink.  I use this one for breakfast since its a bit higher in the calorie department.

• Do you ever have those mornings where the outfit you imagine in your head doesn't turn out and you don't have time to change so you just have to go to work looking like a fool in an outfit that looks terrible?  That happened to me this week.  I imagined my skirt a different color and my top a cardigan instead of a flowing top and my shoes not black.  It was bad friends.  So bad in fact I went home and changed on my lunch break.  The weirdest part of the whole thing?  No one at work even noticed I changed my clothes.  And it wasn't a subtle change.
• My work is trying to get away from the IT company they currently use.  They have asked me and two other people to be our new IT department.  I had to look up what IT stood for.  I really hope they aren't expecting much :)  I mean I was pretty sure it stood for Information Technology, but not 100%.

Thank you all for your kindness after the last post and for your patience.  I feel like real life is just boring lately.  Except I did go to a bridal shower this past weekend (for a co-worker) and all there was was wine and fruit salad.  All the church people got drunk.  It was awesome.


 XO XO,
Going to buy more Kale and Febreeze now :)

Barre. Not Bar. Although I would probably be a lot better at Bar.

Have you heard about the new (maybe it's not new I might be behind the fad) fitness trend that incorporates Ballet???  It's called Barre or Ballet Fusion or something along those lines.  It's crazy intense, at least the ones I've gone to, and is nothing like the ballet I experienced in Ballet 101 at the University of Iowa (I may have taken that class 3 times).

The class is an hour long.  The first time I went I started out strong.  I thought, "I can totally do this!  I took Ballet 101 three times I'm totally advanced!" then we got done with the warm up.  *$&@&  THAT WAS JUST THE WARM UP?!?!?!  At one point I looked down at my watch thinking surely the class had to be almost over (it started at 5pm)...it was 5:08pm.  *#@*&^$  I'm gonna die.

The class description is something along the lines of, "This class utilizes the classical ballet style to strengthen and tone your whole body.  No dance experience necessary."  I imagined a grand piano with a live pianist playing classical music and doing some plies.  That seems realistic right?!?

The class description should be, "This class requires you to be very coordinated and have at least 5 years experience doing fitness on your tipy-toes.  You must be able to do 10 different fitness moves on your tipy-toes with your knees bent all at the same time.  You must enjoy loud dance club music with a fast beat and have quadriceps of steal."

One of the moves we recently did required us to be standing at the bar with one hand holding on for dear life the other hand holding a free weight, while we held a ball between our knees and had a resistance band around our ankles.  We were then to move our hand holding the free weight up and down and our ankles in and out while not allowing the ball to fall.  Confused???  Maybe this diagram will help...

Please take note of how awesome my bangs look in the diagram.

Needless to say I spent more time chasing my damn ball around than I did doing the move (which really wasn't so bad considering I got to take a break).  Towards the end of the class the instructor had us doing 1 minute planks followed by running man things and I literally looked at her like she was crazy and laid there in child's pose.  Just when I thought we were done she yelled "8 MORE!" and I started packing up my things.  By the end of the class my legs were spaghetti.

My bangs keep getting awesomer and awesomer.

But I didn't feel too bad because the instructors legs were shaking too.  Now the real kick in the balls???  The locker room is downstairs so after this rip roarin' fun you get to walk down the stairs and back up just to leave.  I may or may not have gone and sat in the bathroom stall and cried a little.

The good news???  After two weeks of taking this class my pants are falling off me and I'm down an additional 6 pounds.  I guess I'll keep going.

XO XO,

This weekend I'm taking the BAR class

Tiny Morsels

I overslept today.  A simple sentence with many ramifications.  Oversleeping in my life equals waking up in a burst, running around with dogs chasing you because they think you are playing a game, sweating, 15 minutes of vigorous activity logged on Bodymedia, looking like crap for the entire day and a headache that can't be minimized by massive amounts of coffee.  Oversleeping basically ruins my entire day.  I called my mom on my way to work and told her I was pretty sure my outfit was illegal for church work.  Leggings with a shirt that I anticipated to be longer but really doesn't even cover my butt and boots.  It's like Julia Roberts in Pretty Women except I'm  not a prostitute or on Rodeo Drive.  Oh man, how I would love to be on Rodeo Drive right now rather than looking at more snow falling.

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Kim told me I was having a good bang day Sunday so I took a picture for all of you.  If this is what good looks like I don't want to see a picture of me on a regular or even a bad day!  YIKES!

I'm so serious about my bangs.

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Easter is coming and I couldn't be more excited.  We (Tom, Eric, Kim and myself) will be heading to good ole' Des Moines for some rootin' tootin' fun.  Yes tootin' will probably be a major source of the fun :)  My parents are very excited to have us and I am even more excited since I haven't seen them since Mexico.  Although my Mom would beg to differ and say she is MORE excited but really it's not a competition.  I'm also excited to see Ann who will be home for Easter.  But to be honest I'm a little worried that Ann and Kim are going to become besties and squeeze me out.  They have A LOT in common.

 

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I worked out everyday last week.  EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  I logged my meals.  EVERY.STUPID.THING.I.ATE.  I gained a pound.  *#&^!&*#*  I think my body is in shock.  It's like where are all the jellybeans???  Dried coconut and peaches are not the same dammit!

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Last night I had a run in with a jalapeno.  I made Jalapeno Popper Chicken.  Everything was fine until I cleaned up.  Somehow I got it all over my left hand and it burned until I woke up this morning.  It was like the Alicia Keys Song "this girl is on fire" except it was "this hand is on fire!"  I once heard that milk helps if you eat something spicy so I poured the rest of our slightly expired milk on it and that helped for a bit.  I think Addie also accidentally ate a small piece that had fallen on the floor because she proceeded to drink 2 bowls of water and was still panting all night (this is my guess as to why she drank so much and was panting but it is not confirmed nor will it be).

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The title of this post is making me crave chocolate.  Doesn't the word morsel remind you of chocolate???  Or is this just my in-shock body talking again???  It also wants me to tell you about how we saw dark chocolate covered peeps at Wal-Greens and how I didn't buy them so to retaliate my body made me trip and fall outside.  Stupid chocolate peeps.

 

XO XO,

Setting my alarm tomorrow Molly

Things that may or may not (but definitely did) recently happen.

1. I ate a tomato when everyone else ate CHOCOLATE birthday cake at work.  At the time this was a very hard thing to do.  I literally thought I was going to die.  But after much reflection I realized I didn't die from not having the cake, and actually felt pretty good about myself.  We won't go into the details on how I proceeded to eat a bag of jelly beans the next week.  I consider this a success!

2. I got a car wash over my lunch break earlier in the week.  I went to one of those "fancy" car washes where you get out of the car and they clean the inside while the car goes through the wash.  As I was waiting for my car to get cleaned (which technically I am still waiting because they did a terrible job) the shopaholic in me starting browsing in the car wash shop.  I looked at windshield wipers, floor mats, window cleaner, etc. etc.  I then noticed a wall of greeting cards.  I started reading through them and read one that I thought was sweet and I could send to a friend.  I also thought it would be funny to send her an air freshener.  Today as I was re-reading the card and getting ready to put it in the mail I realized the card was for a girlfriend.  As in a lesbian relationship you are my girlfriend kind of thing!  I sent the card anyway explaining that I loved her but not in a lesbian sort of way.  To the lucky recipient...it went in the mail today :) 

3. I cut myself bangs.  Tom was working one night and I decided at 11:00pm that I wanted a new look.  I felt that I had paid attention enough at the hair salon to achieve this look successfully.  I took my time (2hrs.) and succeeded in cutting bangs.  The next morning when Tom saw me his reaction was, "why the hell would you ever cut your hair like that?  Are you trying to be Michelle Obama?"  Let's just say I have been wearing them swept to the side.  No I'm not showing pictures.  I like them and so do other people, but I'm having a bad hair day today and they look exceptionally bad.  I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I woke up at 8:40am and had to chase Rocky and Addie around the yard when I let them out because they wouldn't listen.

4. Tom decided it was time to start wearing in his "Mexican boots".  He tried showing the dogs the importance of wearing them in.  Addie was not impressed.  I had to deal with him thinking he looked amazing in them.  I may or may not have had some seriously strong drinks to help get me through the night of organizing his closet and ties while he wore the boots.

5. I had my first experience with an amaretto sour and a VFW at the same time!  I learned I love both.  Kim wanted me to try an amaretto sour and since we were right next to a VFW she decided that's where I was going to try one.  We walked in in the middle of Bingo which people take very seriously around those parts.  Bunny got pissed when Betty Black won (those are our friends) and Stefano decided to be classy and drink a martini out of the only martini glass the bar had.  We didn't tell him it wasn't supposed to be yellow.  Everyone was very nice and welcoming but they did make us sign in.  It was an experience to say the least, and actually Kim and I can't wait to take Eric & Tom there!

Kim made me do this.  If you look closely you can kind of see the bangs swept to the side :)

Stefano being classy

6. I walked around with a fractured wrist for 3.5 days all the while Tom telling me I was fine.  I ended up at Tria acute injury clinic and walked out with this.

I'm sure Tom would want me to add that he did look at it and thought it was just a cyst (which was partially correct) and to tell you all how he is such an amazing doctor and all that crap truth.  I love him, but as my doctor???  Well it's hard to treat your wife I'm sure :)

XO XO,

I Want Chocolate Cake!!!!

Starting a New Relationship (no it's not sister wives stuff)

I was quite inspired by the Ash Wednesday service I attended this week.  The sermon was about love.  How you should tell the people you love that you love them, how to love all people, how Jesus loves you no matter what, and so on.  Secretly I think it was more about Valentines Day, but whateves.

As I was sitting there I started thinking about who I love.  Tom, Tyler & Matty, My Mom & Dad, Tom's Mom & Dad, My Brother & Emily, Jeff, Ryan & Cristy, Ann and her family, Eric & Kim, My Grandma, Grandma Donna, Rocky & Addie, Aunt Carole & Uncle Larry and their whole clan, and the list went on and on and on.  (Please don't be offended if I didn't list you out specifically.  My list really went on and on and I could fill this entire blog post with the names of people I love.)  As all these names ran through my brain I realized I really am one lucky girl.  For all these people that I love, I know they love me back.  It's such a great feeling knowing you are loved, cared for, and matter.

From there my brain took a turn (I promise I was listening to the sermon at least a little) and I started realizing that often I take better care of the people I love than I do myself.  I even admitted to Tom the other night that I'm constantly thinking about how to be a good wife, and trying to come up with things that I think will make him happy.  You know what his response was???  "Molly, that's crazy.  All I want is for you to be happy.  If you are happy I am happy."  Seriously what a great husband.

So, I've decided I am going to start loving myself a little bit more.  I am going to start taking better care of myself and allow the people in my life to take care of themselves (I still love you).  I think if I love myself more in the end I'll be able to love the people in my life even more.

To kick off this new focus I've decided to give up laziness for Lent.  Yep, the Queen of Lazy Town is passing the crown on.  I think giving up laziness will actually turn out to be more than a one dimensional item.  It's not just "I won't take a nap after work", but turns into "I won't take a nap after work, instead I'll go to the gym."  See??? multi-dimensional.  Giving up laziness in turn will help me on my success journey.  If instead of taking a nap I go to the gym (which I have everyday this week btw) then I won't feel like eating crap which in turn will make me feel better about myself.  See how all this works?!?

When I explained this to my mom yesterday she said she was going to try and give up wine for Lent.  I said Jesus had wine, so she decided maybe she would give up laziness too :)

This whole process is obviously going to turn out to be a great love story and I'm sure Nicholas Sparks will want the rights to it sooner or later.  You can look for "Loving Myself" (hopefully Hollywood will come up with a better title than what I just did) in theaters Summer of 2020.

XO XO,
Loving Molly

The Gym

I have a love / hate relationship with the Gym.  I think it stems from the fact that I used to work at a gym. Also I hate exercising.  BUT I even more hate being overweight and love the feeling I get after a good workout.  So it's like a catch 22.

The problem with working at a gym is when you go to another gym you see all the problems.  You know when you are getting bad customer service, you know when you are getting the run around, you understand why a class is cancelled and can't argue about it, you see people on cell phones and can't say anything, you see staff wearing items that aren't a part of their uniform and can't say anything, and you notice all the annoying things members do and can't say anything because you are just a regular ole member and no one cares if you used to be a manager at a gym half way across the country.

On top of all of that, people at the gym are annoying.  It always amazes me when you see people driving around the parking lot over and over again trying to get a close spot.  Seriously!?!  YOU ARE AT THE GYM park far away and walk (I understand this is not applicable to the elderly and people with small children).  The women (and sometimes men for that matter) that have coordinating outfits, a full face of makeup and hair done?  ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!  You are there to sweat not look cute.  I always wonder what kind of workout they get when they come and go looking the exact same.

When I go to the gym my attire is usually hipster homeless.  It generally consists of yoga pants and one of Tom's shirts and often a hat.  Even when I was young, cute, fit, and in college it consisted of my brothers sweat pants and shirts.

Now obviously I haven't been frequenting the gym as often as I should be and I am not one to judge those people who look cute and go everyday (except I sorta just did).  Hell I would love to look like half those girls in their coordinating Nike outfits who don't get a workout in just trying to pull on a freakin pair of tights (seriously people why are tights so hard to put on?!?)  and can look good in just about anything.  I envy them, I used to be them, and I am working hard at being them again.

I have been going to the gym almost everyday, and tracking what I eat.  I use bodymedia which I really like, and actually works.  I see results and that helps keep me focused.  I just get sidetracked / frustrated very easily.  I can very quickly talk myself out of going to the gym for any number of stupid reasons which doesn't pair well with the fact that I can very easily convince myself that I deserve that piece of candy.  Yep, that one that's sitting right there just calling my name...yep that's the one.

Yesterday, unfortunately, I told myself I deserved many pieces of candy and also told myself that I didn't need to go to the gym because I'd eaten candy all day so what was the point (see how stupid my brain can be?!?).  Now today I am paying for it.  I woke up with a terrible headache and felt disgustballs.  So today, I have no excuses.  I WILL GO TO THE GYM...I WILL NOT EAT CANDY.

Also, why is candy so mean???  It tastes so good, but after you eat it you're like why did I eat that now I'm going to be fat, but then you're like oh it tasted so good I better eat another, and so the cycle continues.  I think I am learning that I just can't have any.  I know if I have one piece I will have another and another and another until I become Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda and have eaten the whole damn cake!

 

I'll keep you updated on my success (see how I said success???  I'm being positive.)

XO XO,
Positive Molly