Wal-Mart Foot Disease

You guys...I can't even...
It's taken me until today to even be able to talk about it....
It's the wost, grossest, most disgusting thing ever...

I was loving the warm weather we had this past weekend.  Loving it so much I pulled out my flip flops to run a few errands.  Then the world laughed at me...HAHA you Dumb Idiot it's February, you can't wear flip flops!
And this happened...

In the parking lot of Wal-Mart.

Now normally I would say screw errands and go home.  But for some reason I thought I could fix my stupid flip flop.  I went all Macgyver on it.  I searched my car for anything that might fix it.  Things that I tried, but failed before landing on my final fix = tire pressure gage (did nothing), pen (nothing), mint (sort of worked but then I stepped and it broke).  Finally I thought of this...

I chewed a piece of gum and then stuck it on!  It totally worked.  Until I got just far enough away from my car.  Then it stuck to the pavement the entire flip flop fell apart and I was standing in the parking lot of Wal-Mart with one bare foot on the ground.  At that moment in time I made the quick decision to walk in to Wal-Mart one foot shoeless.  I walked straight to the shoe department and found a pair of slippers and put them on.  I figured wearing slippers in Wal-Mart was much less weird than one flip flop.  I did my shopping as quickly as possible trying not to think about how disgusting the bottom of my foot was and left.  All I could think about was getting home to soak, scrub, and wash my feet.  Then I got home and realized I still had the slippers on and had not paid for them!
F!
I threw the stupid slippers away knowing I would never put my foot inside one again and said screw it.
I soaked my feet and scrubbed the one until it was raw.  I'm still concerned it may have some weird disease living beneath my skin.  Just thinking about it gives me shivers.

Seriously I will never wear flip flops to Wal-Mart again...just in case.

XO XO,
I have a diseased foot :(

Pop Pop Poppity Popcorn

I've been craving popcorn lately.  Like to the point that Tom made some soup the other night and I thought it smelled like popcorn and I kept asking him if he actually made popcorn not soup and was just hiding the popcorn from me.
I understand that I could actually just throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave to cure this craving, however I would eat the entire bag and then feel awful.  So I have been resisting.
That is until yesterday.  Yesterday the Polar Arctic Freeze wave hit North Carolina and it went from 60* to 9* in like an hour.  Of course this happened the day I had to take the damn dogs to the vet.  Which of course I had so carefully planned so that I could walk them to the vet so they wouldn't loose their damn minds / rip my arm off getting to ride in the car and go into a new place.  So yesterday I walked the dogs 1.5 miles to the vet and 1.5 miles back home in 9* weather, which I believed allowed me to succumb to my recent craving of popcorn.
Now again, you would think I could just throw a bag in the microwave and be done with it.  BUT the problem still existed that I would eat the entire bag and feel like barfing afterwards.  Also the apartment would smell like popcorn for the next year and every time I walked in I would want more popcorn.  So what is a girl to do???
Luckily I also needed to buy a special kind of battery for our scale at home.  I knew they sold them across the street from where I work at Ace Hardware....
Ace Hardware has popcorn machines and free popcorn for customers.
I literally left work in 9* weather drove across the street to Ace Hardware picked up my battery and a key chain, paid, got my free bag of popcorn and went back to work.  Craving satisfied, didn't feel like barfing.

I am very resourceful :)

Now head on over to your local Ace Hardware to get your free popcorn and a new key chain.  I promise it's worth it!

XO XO,
Molly

I'm Not Really Thankful for This...well maybe a little

My work is getting ready to move.  We are moving upstairs in the same building.  We've been prepping the new space and it is looking really good.  With that, we are getting desks and furniture figured out.  My desk in our current space used to be tall.  I actually liked it tall because I could stand and work.  However, in the new space I am getting my bosses desk and he is getting mine.  He didn't want it tall, so he cut 6 inches off the legs. He didn't measure quite properly.  The desk is too short to use the tall chair, but too tall to use the short "normal" desk chair.  He said he will fix it when we move.  I still have to use this desk for a week or so.  Now when I sit / lean over my desk to work my boobs rest perfectly on the desk because my chair is so short.  I just caught myself leaned over reading something on my computer with my boobs resting perfectly on my too tall desk.  The positive in this situation is I don't have to wear a bra to work for a week!  Kidding...maybe.

A completely accurate illustration of the situation.

XO XO,

Molly

Funny Crap Found on Groupon

Today at work I had to go through those daily deal sites (living social, amazon local, groupon) to see what fitness deals were currently running.  Well I of course got distracted looking at all of the other great "deals" on the sites.  And lucky for you came across some pretty amazing stuff that is totally worth sharing.  So without further adieu I bring you a new segment I like to call, "Funny Crap Found on Groupon".

First up we have "Silent Snooz" which I was seriously contemplating buying for Tom.  But then I got concerned.  Does "Silent Snooz" make your hair turn green?  I'm not sure there are any research findings correlating hair color to snoring.  I mean if all it took was dying Tom's hair green to get the snoring to stop we would have to have a serious conversation.  But if buying and using "Silent Snooz" turns hair green then I think the FDA or someone needs to step in.  Also, I can pretty much promise you that no one actually sleeps in that position with pleasant sleepy smiles on their faces.

Now at first glance you might think you are looking at the sweet honey bear.  You might think maybe you are looking at clear honey.  But oh no my friends look closer.  You are actually looking at "Nature Lovin' Lubricant"!  Seriously couldn't they have found a more appropriate bottle?  If a kid saw this they might try to put it on their toast.  They are advertising for a Koala type on the red labeled bottle so couldn't they have used a Koala bottle instead.  I feel like my sweet honey bear will never be the same.  Oh also, what if you were actually stupid enough to buy this and in the heat of the moment picked up your honey bottle instead of your lube bottle.  Well lets just say you would be in a very sticky situation.

A pet tent.  First of all if you were trying to sell this product wouldn't you try and get a pet who looked happy to be in your pet tent?  These cats looked pissed.  They're probably thinking, "Where the F is my litter box?  I'm an indoor cat...you're not fooling me I know I'm not inside."  Also if you put a real pet in there like a dog they would probably flip the bitch over and escape within a minute and then you would not be reading peacefully on  your lounger you would be chasing your dog.  Lastly if you're in a fenced area as in this picture do you really need a pet tent?  Does the fence not work well enough?  If you think your pet can escape a rod iron fence I'm pretty sure they are going to escape the stupid pet tent.  Just sayin'.

Now I'm the first to admit that I have absolutely NO artistic abilities, but I'm pretty sure I could have painted this picture.  In fact I'm pretty sure my almost 2 year old nephew could have painted this picture.  Who would spend $69.99 on this?  And that is the groupon deal price.  Originally it was $129.99.  I mean really.  I can splatter paint.  Does anyone want to pay me $50 to splatter paint?  That's better than the groupon deal.  I feel like this painter's mom is to blame.  Maybe if she would have just been honest with her child and told them painting might not be their best skill they wouldn't have to be trying to sell paint splatter on groupon.  I mean you don't see me trying to sell my soccer skills on groupon because my mom told me, "maybe soccer just isn't your thing...let's try something else!"  After she made me go to goalie camp and found out I was scared of the ball.

I feel like I just don't have words for this one.  I mean I get it.  Sometimes you are sitting for a long time but really it's not like you are sitting all day.  It's like a shoe insole for your butt.  Except I get the shoe insole thing because sometimes you are on your feet all day.  One time when I was "sick" I spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet.  I never once remember thinking, "man I wish I had a comfort gel toilet cushion".  I think pretty much people's main objective is to take care of business as quickly as possible and get off the toilet seat.  Am I wrong???

And that my friends is "Funny Crap Found on Groupon!"  I hope you all have a day that does not necessitate a comfort gel toilet cushion.

XO XO,

Molly

You'll thank me for sharing all of this in one post

Recent happenings that I have chosen not to write entire blog posts about.  You will understand quickly why.

• I sat on the couch and smelled a smell.  I thought Tom was making a hot dog.  I then looked to my left and saw a pile of dog poop on the floor.  Not good for hot dogs.

Yes the poop is steaming

• I have a new appreciation for a friend.  We absolutely can't stand the same person.  Have you ever noticed how if you don't like someone or something and another person feels the same way you instantly become friends?  Love it!
•  Tom and I hopped on the green smoothie bandwagon.  We are both really loving it as are our intestines.  Although the budget for Febreeze air freshener has gone up considerably.

Tom happy with his smoothie.  Check out those guns!

 My favorite green smoothie concoction so far is: 1cup spinach leaves, small handful of cucumber, small handful of celery, big handful of broccoli, half an avocado, banana, honey, water, ice.  Blend it up and drink.  I use this one for breakfast since its a bit higher in the calorie department.

• Do you ever have those mornings where the outfit you imagine in your head doesn't turn out and you don't have time to change so you just have to go to work looking like a fool in an outfit that looks terrible?  That happened to me this week.  I imagined my skirt a different color and my top a cardigan instead of a flowing top and my shoes not black.  It was bad friends.  So bad in fact I went home and changed on my lunch break.  The weirdest part of the whole thing?  No one at work even noticed I changed my clothes.  And it wasn't a subtle change.
• My work is trying to get away from the IT company they currently use.  They have asked me and two other people to be our new IT department.  I had to look up what IT stood for.  I really hope they aren't expecting much :)  I mean I was pretty sure it stood for Information Technology, but not 100%.

Thank you all for your kindness after the last post and for your patience.  I feel like real life is just boring lately.  Except I did go to a bridal shower this past weekend (for a co-worker) and all there was was wine and fruit salad.  All the church people got drunk.  It was awesome.


 XO XO,
Going to buy more Kale and Febreeze now :)

Barre. Not Bar. Although I would probably be a lot better at Bar.

Have you heard about the new (maybe it's not new I might be behind the fad) fitness trend that incorporates Ballet???  It's called Barre or Ballet Fusion or something along those lines.  It's crazy intense, at least the ones I've gone to, and is nothing like the ballet I experienced in Ballet 101 at the University of Iowa (I may have taken that class 3 times).

The class is an hour long.  The first time I went I started out strong.  I thought, "I can totally do this!  I took Ballet 101 three times I'm totally advanced!" then we got done with the warm up.  *$&@&  THAT WAS JUST THE WARM UP?!?!?!  At one point I looked down at my watch thinking surely the class had to be almost over (it started at 5pm)...it was 5:08pm.  *#@*&^$  I'm gonna die.

The class description is something along the lines of, "This class utilizes the classical ballet style to strengthen and tone your whole body.  No dance experience necessary."  I imagined a grand piano with a live pianist playing classical music and doing some plies.  That seems realistic right?!?

The class description should be, "This class requires you to be very coordinated and have at least 5 years experience doing fitness on your tipy-toes.  You must be able to do 10 different fitness moves on your tipy-toes with your knees bent all at the same time.  You must enjoy loud dance club music with a fast beat and have quadriceps of steal."

One of the moves we recently did required us to be standing at the bar with one hand holding on for dear life the other hand holding a free weight, while we held a ball between our knees and had a resistance band around our ankles.  We were then to move our hand holding the free weight up and down and our ankles in and out while not allowing the ball to fall.  Confused???  Maybe this diagram will help...

Please take note of how awesome my bangs look in the diagram.

Needless to say I spent more time chasing my damn ball around than I did doing the move (which really wasn't so bad considering I got to take a break).  Towards the end of the class the instructor had us doing 1 minute planks followed by running man things and I literally looked at her like she was crazy and laid there in child's pose.  Just when I thought we were done she yelled "8 MORE!" and I started packing up my things.  By the end of the class my legs were spaghetti.

My bangs keep getting awesomer and awesomer.

But I didn't feel too bad because the instructors legs were shaking too.  Now the real kick in the balls???  The locker room is downstairs so after this rip roarin' fun you get to walk down the stairs and back up just to leave.  I may or may not have gone and sat in the bathroom stall and cried a little.

The good news???  After two weeks of taking this class my pants are falling off me and I'm down an additional 6 pounds.  I guess I'll keep going.

XO XO,

This weekend I'm taking the BAR class

How Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Smells, and Exclamation Perfume all go together. Also another Donkey Picture.

The sense of smell really is quite extraordinary.  Although I would much rather lose my sense of smell before losing my sight or hearing, to be able to smell is much more than actually smelling things.  Did you know you only really taste salt and the other tastes you think you are tasting are actually the smells?  (I'm pretty sure this is accurate but don't quote me.)  Smells can also transform a simple task into a long lost memory.  For example, maybe every time you bake chocolate chip cookies and smell them in the oven you are transported back in time to your grandmother's kitchen.  Or maybe every time you smell coconut your transported back to a beach with tanning oil.  Who knows?!?  Often these types of memories sneak up on us.

Well yesterday as I was busily working checking facebook for the 77th time a smell snuck into my office that transported me back to my elementary school days.  The maintenance guy was using Goo-Gone to get some sticky stuff off a cabinet.  Now you may be wondering what Goo-Gone could possibly remind me of from elementary school, but alas that is the craziness of how our sense of smell triggers these memories.

When I was little I was in love with the book / movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (the original not the creepy one with Johnny Depp).  I pretty much wanted to be Violet (the girl who turns into the blueberry) just so I could go to a place where I could lick the wallpaper and eat the marshmallow flowers.  As you'll remember she always was chewing gum...

So to really follow in Violet's footsteps I decided I would chew gum and often thought it would be cool to stick it behind my ear.  Then of course I would forget about it and shower with it back there and sleep with it back there and wake up and guess what?!?  It would be stuck all over my hair.  The first few times this happened my mom got out the Goo-Gone and was gentle and almost felt bad for me.  After it continued to happen my Dad just cut the gum out of my hair and my Mom would yell, "GET THE GOO-GONE!"  and would more or less rip the gum out of my hair.  Then to punish me she would make me go to school smelling like Goo-Gone because of course I still had to make it to the bus stop and there was no time to take a shower.  I would usually try and mask the smell with some perfume like "Exclamation" which I'm pretty sure you can still buy at Wal-Greens.  Let's just say the two smells together did nothing for my popularity at school which was pretty much already nonexistent.

Now I do take some responsibility for this, but seriously why did they keep giving me gum?  I literally got gum stuck in my hair at least once a month for years (this may be a slight exaggeration but not by much).

So yesterday, when the awful Goo-Gone smell crept its way into my office I was transported back to those hectic mornings getting gum ripped from my hair trying to make it to the bus without anyone noticing that it was me that smelled.


XO XO,
Smelly Molly

Things that may or may not (but definitely did) recently happen.

1. I ate a tomato when everyone else ate CHOCOLATE birthday cake at work.  At the time this was a very hard thing to do.  I literally thought I was going to die.  But after much reflection I realized I didn't die from not having the cake, and actually felt pretty good about myself.  We won't go into the details on how I proceeded to eat a bag of jelly beans the next week.  I consider this a success!

2. I got a car wash over my lunch break earlier in the week.  I went to one of those "fancy" car washes where you get out of the car and they clean the inside while the car goes through the wash.  As I was waiting for my car to get cleaned (which technically I am still waiting because they did a terrible job) the shopaholic in me starting browsing in the car wash shop.  I looked at windshield wipers, floor mats, window cleaner, etc. etc.  I then noticed a wall of greeting cards.  I started reading through them and read one that I thought was sweet and I could send to a friend.  I also thought it would be funny to send her an air freshener.  Today as I was re-reading the card and getting ready to put it in the mail I realized the card was for a girlfriend.  As in a lesbian relationship you are my girlfriend kind of thing!  I sent the card anyway explaining that I loved her but not in a lesbian sort of way.  To the lucky recipient...it went in the mail today :) 

3. I cut myself bangs.  Tom was working one night and I decided at 11:00pm that I wanted a new look.  I felt that I had paid attention enough at the hair salon to achieve this look successfully.  I took my time (2hrs.) and succeeded in cutting bangs.  The next morning when Tom saw me his reaction was, "why the hell would you ever cut your hair like that?  Are you trying to be Michelle Obama?"  Let's just say I have been wearing them swept to the side.  No I'm not showing pictures.  I like them and so do other people, but I'm having a bad hair day today and they look exceptionally bad.  I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I woke up at 8:40am and had to chase Rocky and Addie around the yard when I let them out because they wouldn't listen.

4. Tom decided it was time to start wearing in his "Mexican boots".  He tried showing the dogs the importance of wearing them in.  Addie was not impressed.  I had to deal with him thinking he looked amazing in them.  I may or may not have had some seriously strong drinks to help get me through the night of organizing his closet and ties while he wore the boots.

5. I had my first experience with an amaretto sour and a VFW at the same time!  I learned I love both.  Kim wanted me to try an amaretto sour and since we were right next to a VFW she decided that's where I was going to try one.  We walked in in the middle of Bingo which people take very seriously around those parts.  Bunny got pissed when Betty Black won (those are our friends) and Stefano decided to be classy and drink a martini out of the only martini glass the bar had.  We didn't tell him it wasn't supposed to be yellow.  Everyone was very nice and welcoming but they did make us sign in.  It was an experience to say the least, and actually Kim and I can't wait to take Eric & Tom there!

Kim made me do this.  If you look closely you can kind of see the bangs swept to the side :)

Stefano being classy

6. I walked around with a fractured wrist for 3.5 days all the while Tom telling me I was fine.  I ended up at Tria acute injury clinic and walked out with this.

I'm sure Tom would want me to add that he did look at it and thought it was just a cyst (which was partially correct) and to tell you all how he is such an amazing doctor and all that crap truth.  I love him, but as my doctor???  Well it's hard to treat your wife I'm sure :)

XO XO,

I Want Chocolate Cake!!!!

Blurps & Burps

Last night while Tom and I were watching the Super Beyonce Bowl, Tom asked me to scratch his back.  This is anything but rare in our house, and normally there are no complaints and snoring commences quickly once the scratching / rubs begin.  Last night however was different.  I must have broken a nail at some point throughout the day and didn't realize it.  I went to scratch Tom's back and he yelped, "Holy Cow did you sharpen your nails?!!?"  Immediately I started laughing asking, "why on earth would one sharpen their nails, and how do you even think a nail would get sharpened?  With like a pencil sharpener?"  His response???  "No with one of those popsicle sticks with sandpaper on it."  I literally died.  He obviously meant a nail file.  Yes my friends, we sharpen our nails with popsicle sticks that have sandpaper glued to them in the Mullin household.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last weekend when I was headed to the grocery store I asked Tom what kinds of snacks he wanted for the Super Bowl.  Obviously he said dip first, and second pizza rolls.  He was lucky cuz both were on sale.  The catch was that the only pizza rolls on sale were the 90 count bag.  I figured if I got the big bag they would last a while.

Yep, all 90 pizza rolls were gone in 4 days (minus the 4 that he gave to the dogs and 1 that I ate and thought tasted like poison [Tom assures me that is what they are supposed to taste like which is not very reassuring]).

He texted me today and said his burps tasted like pizza...well no shit you literally just consumed 85 pizza rolls in 4 days.  What do you expect your burps to taste like?!?!?  I mean, I love you Tom :)

XO XO,

Wife of a Pizza Roll

Ah...Ah...Ah...CHOOOOOOO

Sorry for being MIA the last week.  An idiot I work with decided to come to work sick and has now proceeded to get EVERYONE sick.  And by everyone I mean everyone...literally the entire staff is sick and we just keep passing it around.  It's a petri dish full of germs up in here.  One girl has already used all her sick days for the year and it's only January (and she's still sick now for the second time).  I had to use two sick days, but don't worry Tom said it was just a cold and I needed to suck it up (he has the best bedside manner).

The nightstand with Lysol, sudafed, and kleenex.  The pups who are good snugglers and have a good bedside manner (clearly they got that from their mom).

I knew I was officially sick when nothing sounded good to eat (not even cookie dough).  I think I ate 2 pieces of toast in a three day period.  And you better believe the first thing I did once I was feeling better was to step on the scale to see how much weight I'd lost (4lbs).

I guess the only good thing about being sick was that I happened to be sick on the two coldest days in the last 1,466 days.  I think the high Monday was like -10 and the windshield was -40 (those numbers are probably wildly inaccurate double check with Belinda Jensen if you want accuracy) but I do know they were in the negatives.  When I finally graced everyone the dogs with my presence Monday morning afternoon night and let them out they looked at me like I was crazy.  Addie ran out the door obviously not expecting the cold got half way down the hill and then the cold hit her.  She looked back at me peed and ran back inside narrowly escaping Rocky who was smarter and practically peed right on the step.

Top Left = the door in the mudroom.  No we do not have fancy frosted glass, that is actual frost on the glass INSIDE!  Bottom Right = the door handle covered in frost.  The other two pictures you can't tell very well but there is frost there I promise, and these are INSIDE with storm windows / storm door!  That is how cold it is!

Finally by Tuesday late afternoon I was feeling better and decided January 22 was a good day to finally take down the Christmas tree.  Tom and I have been busy playing "guess the tune", "finger or twig", and "which dog is licking me?" lately and didn't make taking the tree down a priority.  Now I'm sure you're all wondering about the games we've been playing, and no they aren't inappropriate if that's what you're thinking.

These boxes may or may not still be sitting in the living room (they are).

Tom is crazy good at knowing a song after just the first chord.  Seriously, next time you're around him play a song...any song and he will know what it is.  AND if it was in a movie he will be able to tell you what movie and describe the scene for you.  It's mind blowing.  So "guess the tune" is a game that I inevitably always lose.  Basically we open iTunes or pandora put the songs on shuffle and see who can name the artist and title first.  Pretty much the only songs I ever win are Christmas Songs, Mozart, Beyonce, James Taylor and Chris Isaac.

Finger or twig (can be played with any other object not just a twig) is a game Tom invented in Jamaica a few years ago.  One person closes their eyes and the other touches them with either their finger or the twig.  Wow, the more I describe it the worse it sounds...I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead.  But I will say this, we played it with my Mom on the beach and she thought it was fun too.  Yeah Molly, still sounding bad and now getting weird.

Ok well moving on, the final game "which dog is licking me" is self explanatory.  You have to guess without looking which dog is licking you.  Seriously, what is up with these games sounding so weird?!?  They don't seem weird in the moment...

Tom cheated...he knew it was Addie all along :)

Well this post has gone from sick to I don't even know, so I'm going to stop here.  Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.  Until then...

XO XO,
I've Shared Too Much Molly

An Anniversary Trip with the Prchal's

Part 2 to yesterday's post.  Start HERE if you haven't read "Up North" yet!

I love Tom, obviously.  But sometimes he can be a bit much to handle on my own.  He is very high energy, I am very not high energy.  He likes to do anything and everything outdoors, I like to sleep in and go to the spa.

Last year we went to Lutsen (another "up North" spot) in the winter to get some much needed R & R and ended up hiking a mountain very steep hill with about a foot of snow on it.  Tom literally had to push my fat ass up the hill.  So this year when we started talking about getting away for our anniversary I had a wonderful idea.  Let's invite Eric & Kim to join us.  That way when Tom wants to go hike Eric can go with him and Kim and I can go shop and get our nails done.

So Tom and I went to Pequot Lakes Friday, spent our actual anniversary just the two of us and Eric & Kim came up Sunday.  It was the perfect plan...until the first morning when they were calling at 9am.  The first thing I said to Tom? "We need friends that sleep in!"

Now last Sunday you know there was a BIG football game (Vikings vs. Packers).  The Vikings had to win (which they did) to make it to the playoffs.  We decided to go to a sports bar to watch the game.  When we walked in we saw a line of crockpots on a table and a ton of people.  (spell check wants me to change crockpots to crackpots.  No spell check we did not see a bunch of crackpots when we walked in).  At first I thought maybe we'd walked into a private party or a potluck, but oh no we'd walked into the annual Spam cook-off.  Right up our alley!  The announcer went over the rules on how to vote and told everyone it was $1 to try everything and vote.  Tom tried to give me $1 (probably the only time he's ever willingly given me money) but I quickly refused.  Seriously, you want me to try everything Spam???  No thank you!

Luckily we arrived at the bar a little while before the game started (and the spam cook-off) because we got the last 4 stools at the bar.  They were actually perfect seats.  Right in front of a big TV, right in front of the crazy waitress who told us she would let a celebrity beat her for money or something, and right in front of the popcorn machine.  Within .2 seconds Eric asked the first waitress 55 questions and we basically never saw her again the entire game.  We ordered drinks and got cozy as the game began.

I quickly realized the best "small town" action was actually in the bathroom where one trip lead me to the middle of a conversation between a mother and daughter.  The mother was telling the daughter she was mad that her boyfriend got her a new laptop for Christmas because she didn't want her going to college, and the second trip landed me in the middle of a grandma trying to help her grandson go to the bathroom.  The grandson decided he needed to get completely naked to go (sorta reminded me of my brother and the freezing cold Chinese restaurant in Illinois) and also wanted confirmation that after he went the grandma would go too so he could flush both the potties down.  *Disclaimer...I do realize both of these situations could have happened anywhere not just a small town*

By the fourth quarter the drinks had been flowing for a while and the game was close.  When the Vikings finally pulled ahead and won Eric, who is not small to say the least, stood up in the middle of the bar and started chanting, "MVP, MVP".  At once the bar quieted and everyone started staring.  It was awesome.  Kim and I died laughing and Eric sat down like nothing had happened.  Don't we all fit in so well?!?

The next morning Kim and I decided to do a little shopping at the local stores and get manicures.  We found some sweet fleece lined leggings, grabbed a cup of coffee, and headed to the "salon".  You may be wondering why the word "salon" is in quotes...because really it was in a house.  After Kim and I got a bit freaked out about it we ran inside to escape the -15* weather.  It started out normal enough, the heat was broken, an old lady was confused about her appointment time, and we were 10 minutes late.  You know, normal!  Well things got a bit not normal after that.  I tried on about 77 different nail polish colors while Kim was getting her manicure and ended up getting nail polish all over everything.  Our manicurist started telling us all about how she and her boyfriend broke up but still lived together, the guys called us and told us to go get fishing licenses for Eric & Kim (sam hell do you do that?) and then we learned about how people poop on the floor of the salon.  It was the craziest manicure of all time!  After we were finished we quickly paid and left.  By the time I got back to the hotel and changed my manicure looked like this:

This is not my real hand but a pic I found online.  My manicure looked worse than this.

Biggest waste of money ever.  I tried to hide it from Tom as long as I could, but he noticed pretty quickly and asked if it was a new nail painting technique.  Yes shit paint is a new technique Tom, yes yes it is.

After the manicure massacre we headed out ice fishing again.  We really wanted to catch some big fish so we decided to go out with a guide who would put us right on the biggies, Walleye.  We met "Trax" as Kim thought his name was, it was actually Ryan and followed him to the lake.  He then put a 4 wheeler on the ice with a trailer hooked to it and told us to get on.  We all piled on the trailer with our stuff (you know pizza, beer, whiskey, cookies...regular stuff you take ice fishing) and headed to the house.  The house was a permanent ice house with a wall heater, beds, and 6 holes to fish out of.  Kim was hilarious because she'd never been ice fishing before.  When Tom asked Ryan how deep we were fishing Kim thought that was how deep the ice was, 24 feet!  And when there was a boom Kim screamed and was ready to be done.  I have to admit I was the same way the first time I went ice fishing last year.  Even Tyler, my then 4 year old nephew made fun of me.

Eric and Ryan were the only successful catchers.  Ryan caught a walleye and Eric caught a walleye and a northern.  Although it wasn't great fishing we still had a ton of fun.

We had reservations that night (NYE) at Manhattans.  They were serving a 6 course dinner.  It was fancy and delicious.  They had loaded Bloody Mary's that lived up to their name, and food that was to die for.  During dinner Eric and Kim got to witness what I deal with everyday.  Tom's mumbling and asking what every 5 seconds.  Eric started saying what constantly and has now been a running joke ever since.  WHAT??  They say it when it doesn't make sense, at the end of almost every sentence, and just because it is too quiet what.  Now I don't know if Tom is really asking what? or just saying what.  My life is confusing.

Kim and I rang in 2013 getting a tan in our pj's (sitting on lounge chairs inside the pool area at the hotel) and the guys rang in 2013 in the pool with some other weirdo.  It was magical to say the least what.!.  Tom had bad acid reflux and Eric had bad butt flux (you can decide what that might mean) but we kissed them at midnight just the same.  We love our guys :)

The Prchal's and Mullin's certainly hope your NYE was as magical as ours, and wish you health and happiness in the coming year.

XO XO,

what.

It Does Exist...It's Not Pretty, But It Does Exist

A time before 11:30am on a Saturday that is.  I've heard about coffee in bed on a Saturday morning, or a yoga class at 7am on a Saturday morning, but I've always laughed it off thinking, "there's no such thing!"
But I'm here to tell you people (without kids that is) that Saturday mornings do exist.  And you don't have to be tailgating for a Hawkeye game to find out.  You just have to have a husband doing back to back interviews flying in and out at crazy hours with one suit that needs to be dry cleaned to see what a Saturday morning looks like.
Lucky for us our dry cleaner is the plant for multiple stores, so they can do same day dry cleaning M-Sat.  The catch is you have to have your items to them by 9am.  Pretty sure this past Saturday when I traipsed in to the dry cleaner looking like this:

Saturday Morning Molly...not a pretty sight

The girl thought I was the second uni bomber who looks like this:

Oh did I mention I may have had my hood up when I walked in?  And you can't tell in the picture but it's been a while since my last waxing so the mustache is accurate! Yikes!  It's not a good resemblance.  Hopefully the next time (tomorrow) when I drop clothes off there won't be a picture of me on the wall with the caption "WANTED"!

XO XO,
Uni bomber Molly

Confession (30 Before 30 # Who cares we're almost done!)

Confession: I once painted my nails with white car touch up paint.
Why: I was bored waiting in the car for my Mom and found the touch up paint in the glovebox and there were no snacks.
Outcome: Car touch up paint does not come off with nail polish remover..or anything else for that matter.  I had white nails for a looong time, then when my nails started growing out I had half white nails.
Oh also during this time I was selected to play a piano solo in a highly competitive competition where the judge practically sits on the piano bench with you.  My mother was mortified.  I told her, "that's why you always keep snacks in the car!"
Lesson to be learned: always keep snacks in the car, and never paint your nails with car paint.

Dodgeball vs. Molly...Winner Dodgeball (30 Before 30 #??? I lost track and proabably skipped some days too)

Dodgeball and I are not really friends, but we've had some good times together.  See Dodgeball is a game where the point is to hit other people with balls.  For a girl who is scared of balls being thrown at her face this game does not bode well, but normally when playing (with a certified PE instructor) you use soft foam balls that don't really hurt when they hit you, so I was able to overcome my fear for 4th grade PE class.
In fact in 4th grade I was pretty good at dodgeball.  Considering I had an early growth spurt and was the tallest person in my class people were scared of the King Kong sized girl and pretty much ran the other way when I had a ball in my hand. 

 
Little did they know I could hardly throw or that I wouldn't grow anymore and quickly would become the shortest girl in the grade.  But I digress...back to dodgeball.
Before graduating from the University of Iowa I had to take a PE class.  My friend G and I decided to take an easy Stretch & Tone class expecting it to be like the up and coming fad yoga (yes I know this dates me).  On the first day of class we came dressed and ready for yoga as did many of the other people girls.  As more and more people guys football players arrived for the class we (the girls) starting quietly talking about how they were not dressed appropriately for yoga showing up in baggy basketball shorts and t-shirts.  We figured after the first class they would realize that baggy clothes wouldn't work well for yoga.
However, it was us girls that were in for the surprise.  As class began this big burly muscle guy stood up and introduced himself as our instructor for the class.  He looked like he belonged in the weight room not teaching a yoga class.

What we expected                                What we got

He explained that we didn't need to buy the book that was listed for this course (girls had already purchased, ripped off the cling wrap, and looked through the book, guys cheered at not having to buy another book) because we would be doing our "own thing".  Sam Hell does "own thing" mean you ask???  Well let me tell you...

It means running the track, doing spider crawls, lunges, jumping jacks, weight training, oh yeah and playing stupid dodgeball.
After the first class I told my Dad I was dropping the class and would be taking an actual yoga class instead some other semester.  My Dad told me I was overreacting and to stick with the class.  He said the instructor surely couldn't be as terrible as I had explained.
So I stuck with it.  G and I made a pact that we would get through this awfulness together.  So two times a week, week after week we went to the stupid stretch and tone class and did NO stretching or toning.  One day the instructor e-mailed the entire class and told us to meet in the big gym past the swimming pool instead of in our regular area.  He said he had a special surprise for us.
When we arrived to the Big gym past the swimming pool we saw the special surprise.  We were going to be playing dodgeball.  Of course the football players cheered and the girls moaned and complained.  We were broken into two teams and told the rules.  Football players were not to throw their hardest or use the hard foursquare balls and no one was to aim for heads.  As the game got started it was clear the boys were not following the rules.  The instructor warned them, but really it did no good.  They continued to throw their hardest, throw the hard foursquare balls, and well they tried not to aim for heads.  Most of the girls let themselves get hit right away so they could be out and didn't have to play.  Key word there = Most.  Stupid me thought I was still the Amazonian woman from 4th grade and actually tried to play against these guys.  Let's just say it ended with me on the floor with an imprint of a foursquare ball on my face and everyone rushing to make sure I wasn't knocked unconscious while I held back tears of pain / embarrassment. 
 Luckily the instructor felt bad for me and didn't make me play the rest of the day.  Oh yeah, and he was nice enough to e-mail me later on and make sure I was ok.  Which was pretty cool since I ended up marrying him :)  Yep, you read that right.  The instructor = Tom.  If it wasn't for dodgeball, a pretty crappy yoga class, and my Dad encouraging me to stick with the class,  I never would have met the man of my dreams :)
Oh and did I mention this all happened on my birthday???  Pretty great way to celebrate I would say.

An Interview with My Mom (30 Before 30 #21)

First off, how do you feel about Molly turning 30?
It's kind of unbelief.  I remember making cookies with her in the sling and playing for hours and hours when she was a baby and now I turn my back and she's already 30.  How can time go so fast?  Unbelievable.

What's your favorite story to tell about Molly when she was little?
Her caring and loving nature came through so early.  When her Dad was so sick she was about 15mo. and she drug her blanket all the way from her room down the stairs one step at a time all the way to her Dad to lay her little blanket on him.
Oh also, when she did flips and cart-wheels on the soccer field.  She wasn't too interested in playing soccer.

Picking her butt on the soccer field...not too interested that the ball is RIGHT there!

What's your favorite story to tell about Molly as an older gal?
When she was finally singing in a very prestigious high school choir with a guest conductor she finally got to be in the front row and was sharing music with her best friend Ann and all of a sudden they dropped the music.  A HUGE venue.  Then Molly in her beautiful choir uniform (a dress) bent over in front of everyone to try and pick up the music.  Ann & Molly were laughing so hard.  Needless to say they were never in the front row again.

What's your favorite picture of Molly?
When she wore a pink dress as a flower girl in Mary Cornwell Garza's wedding.  She was so sweet and knew she had to lead her cousin Chad down the aisle at 3 years old.
(I can't find it right now, but I'll try to update later).

Do you read the blog regularly?
Yes!  Now that I know how to get on it :)


Did Molly & Ben get along well growing up?  What about now?
LOL...well I think they loved each other a lot.  They got along well on Sunday's after church when they played the naked game and ran around the house crazy like.  They were at different stages and definitely a boy and a girl.  Molly was very intolerant and Ben was very impatient.
Now, I think it's at a more mature level and they see each other as young adults.  They want good things for each other.  They respect each other and are not judgemental.

What was your first impression of Tom?  How do you feel about him now?
Oh...um...massive good looking Minnesotan...and smart.  He was shy at first with me.
Now, LOLOLOLOL...I think he...how can I say it...I just think of him as another son that I can hug and love up on.  I see how hard he works for everything and how many achievements he's made because of his focus.  He works hard and plays hard.  Kind of like my husband.

Tell us about a time Molly was super naughty.
When she wouldn't do something...oh what was it???  Help me remember.  She was kind of stubborn as I remember.  Molly do you remember one that I don't recall???  Let's see when she was little and playing...I don't think she was ever very naughty.
Oh I remember a time she was super naughty...a time she wanted to wear something inappropriate to school.  She missed the bus and I told her she would have to knock down the door to get by me because she weren't wearing that.  Finally she went up and changed.  Molly was really mad at me. (Um p.s. I was wearing overalls with a short shirt that showed my sides a tiny little bit.  It wasn't that bad.)

Tell us about a time Molly did something to melt your heart.
She's always been so thoughtful in every regard.  When she surprised me for my birthday last year.  And always cheering me up with her sense of humor and teasing me.

Anything else we should know?
That Molly is a very talented young woman.  She's been able to use her talents in any way they've needed to be used whether a job, in your house, a real helper with Tom, and amazingly been able to learn how to rake and go outside and help Tom.  That's something we never thought she would do with her allergies.

Compliments (30 Before 30 #14)

It's always nice to get a compliment, "Molly you are so pretty."  "Oh thanks so are you!"
See how nice and easy that is?!?
Well, growing up my mom thought it was important to teach my brother and I how to compliment people.  So she tried a tactic she probably read in some book about raising kids.  Every time my brother or I did something mean to someone (usually each other) or said something mean we had to give the person three compliments.  Here's a preview of how they went:
Molly: "Ben your feet stink and we should burn your shoes"
Ben: "Shut up buttface you stink"
Mom: "Now kids those things are not nice to say to each other.  Please stop right now and say three nice things to each other."
Ben & Molly: "fine mom"
Molly: "Ben is good at soccer, smart at math, and runs fast"
Ben: "Molly is good, she's fine, she's well"

Really Ben?!?!  That's all you could come up with????  Pretty much that's all he ever said, so Emily I'm sorry Ben never really learned how to complement people, but if he ever says you're good, fine or well take it...it's the best he can do.

Aww...look how cute we were!

XO XO

Hee-Haw (30 Before 30 #11)

My mom has been the Children's Music director at our church forever...literally over 20 years (and is still doing it).  Pretty sure they'll name a pew after her or something when she retires.  She has directed the children's choir, the Christmas pagents, Easter shows, Christmas Programs, Thanksgiving for Christmas, Baptist on Broadway and numerous other performances throughout the years.

Her most memorable directing performance was when President Clinton came to our church one Sunday.  The Children's choir was scheduled to perform and they did...boy did they ever!  I think word got out that the President would be in attendance because we'd never and still have never had so many kids in the Children's choir as that Sunday.  At one point I looked up and saw my brother's best friend Reid in the choir.  P.S. Reid did not belong to our church and had never sung in the choir before.

My mom was not one to shy away from certain songs either.  If she wanted the kids choir to sing them we did.  We sang Feliz Navidad (in spanish), Silent Night with a verse in French, a song from the Musical "Annie", and most notably Heal the World by Michael Jackson.  We also once did a Christmas Program with a chef in it (not sure what that was about).

Now I ALWAYS wanted a solo, or a good speaking part during a performance, but my mom said she couldn't show favorites so Jennie H. would get the solos and Emily T. would get to be Mary.  Me???  Well, I got to be...
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That's right folks...I got to be the donkey.  Hee-Haw...(that was my only line).  I also had to enter crawling on all fours.  My mom tried to play it as a very important role because Mary rode me but really we all know she was pulling at strings.  Oh, and playing favorites???  Yes, that's my YOUNGER brother standing next to me.  Pretty sure he got to be Joseph or at least a Shepherd.

Cookie Dough Confession / Revelation (30 Before 30 #9)

This weekend I made cookies...9 small cookies.
The batch was supposed to make 12-14 BIG cookies.
Secretly I only made cookies so I could eat the dough.
This is not the first, second, or third time I have done this.
Maybe my obsession with cookies and cookie dough stems from this:

Yes...I was Cookie Monster for Halloween until I couldn't squeeze my fat ass in the costume anymore.  My mom made this costume and had to call in sick to work a few days to finish it.  If we can find the costume and it isn't infested with mice or spiders my children will also be Cookie Monster.  Hopefully they won't become obsessed with cookies / cookie dough like I am.  Maybe I should rethink the costume idea.

Napoleon & Kip vs. Ben & Molly (30 Before 30 #8)

I was recently watching Napoleon Dynamite the other night and noticed a picture hanging on their wall that reminded me of a very similar picture that used to hang on my parent's wall.  I went back through my old pictures and found it.  Really...these pictures exist and are not just a movie prop.  YIKES!!

Potlucks = 2 nights worth of dinner (30 Before 30 #4)

For some reason growing up we always went to a lot of potlucks.  Church potlucks, choir potlucks, soccer potlucks, potlucks of every shape and size.  I loved going to potlucks because of the plethora of food desserts available to choose from.  Of course there were the obvious potluck choices KFC (for the lazy people to bring), jell-o fruit salad (for the grandma's to bring), and baked Macaroni & Cheese (for the people with a little bit of time to bring). 
The idea behind the "potluck" is for everyone attending to bring a dish people will love and share it.  People can pick and choose what they want to try.  It's sort of like a redneck buffet if you really think about it.
Now, if you're lucky like I was your mom was super smart about what to bring to a potluck.  She wouldn't be lazy and get KFC, and she wouldn't just run to the grocery store and pick up some potato salad.  No, she would actually make something.  Maybe some wild rice, chicken and mushroom hot dish, or some baked salmon, or some brussel sprouts.  You know totally normal stuff to bring to a potluck that the masses will want to eat.
The idea behind my mom's potluck was...make something for the potluck that no one will eat, bring the entire dish back home and serve it for dinner the next night.  See how smart she was?!?
Now, in all honesty my mom didn't think like that.  She truly thought what she was bringing to the potluck was normal and people would like it.  My brother and I were always so embarrassed when it was time to leave because our dish would be untouched.  Going to potlucks actually became a running joke in our household!  I will say though that my mom has gotten better about what to bring to potlucks...one time recently she actually brought KFC!
Maybe she knew all along what she was doing...who knows!  My mom is often smarter than what we give her credit for!