Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down...

I've started this post in my head a million times.  But to actually write it out, to actually put the words on paper the screen...that I haven't gotten to.  Why?  Well for starters I didn't / don't know how much I want to divulge, I don't know where to begin, I don't know what all to include, and I don't know where to stop.
I've gone back and forth.  Do I just throw it all out there?  Do I continue my cryptic version that some of you understand and some of you don't?  Do I ignore the past months on the blog all together and just start fresh?
I've had to do some serious thinking.
Then one night Tom asked me, again, why I hadn't started blogging again.  I told him that it was going to be a hard post to write.  I asked him, "how do I keep my generally light-hearted, funny tone in a post like this?"  His answer, "Molly you have no idea who all reads your blog.  It's not just the people who comment or send you a text saying they peed their pants laughing at your post.  There might be someone out there who reads your blog who went or is going through the exact same thing as you.  Maybe your story can help them, or show them that what they are feeling is totally normal."
So, here I go.  I'm writing, well typing but you know what I mean.  I'm going to start at the beginning.  That's about all I can promise.  The rest will probably be a mess of word vomit.

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Ok, the beginning.  A quick recap of where we were in March.  Tom was moving to North Carolina and I was staying in Minnesota for the year while he completed his Sports Medicine Fellowship at Duke University.  Tom signed a lease on a one bedroom apartment.  Everything was good to go.  We were trying to enjoy the last months of his residency and last months of being together before he left.
Apparently we were enjoying each other a little too much because on May 10 I turned up pregnant.  We were shocked, excited, nervous, and thrilled (we had tried to get pregnant for a year previous to applying for Fellowships and it didn't happen for us).  But then reality hit.  What the hell were we supposed to do?  Some major decisions were going to have to be made quickly.  We couldn't take the normal 1st trimester and keep the pregnancy to ourselves.  We needed help making decisions and we needed to move fast.  We made the decision to tell our parents right away because we needed them to start thinking about different options.  I also told my boss pretty quickly because I had just taken a promotion and assured him I wasn't moving to North Carolina (funny how God works!).  We then needed to contact Tom's apartment complex and try and get out of his lease.  A one bedroom apartment was just not going to work anymore.  Luckily they were amazing and let Tom out of his lease and helped us get into a 2 bedroom apartment.  This is about where we were when I wrote this post.
We decided to put our house up for sale and luckily sold it within 24hrs.  We then made a million trips to Des Moines to move most of our stuff into storage in the basement of one of my Dad's offices.  Moving from a 3 bedroom house with a basement and a two-car garage to a 2 bedroom apartment really made us evaluate how much crap we could live without.  Did you know you can live without a 12cup food processor and sewing machine?  I know mind blown..... 
Although time was moving super fast, it felt like it took forever to get to our first Dr. appointment.  I was feeling pretty good (a little nausea here and there) and everything seemed to be going well.  Finally the day arrived for our first Dr. appointment.  Tom and I were both so excited.  We had figured I was far enough along that we would be able to at least hear the baby's heartbeat and we couldn't wait.  Our appointment was in the afternoon on a Friday so Tom could be there.  We were planning on driving to Des Moines immediately following our appointment to put the Monte Carlo in storage (again, funny how God works!  You'll understand in a minute just keep reading.)
The appointment went great.  Our Dr. was very excited for us.  He went over all the rules (you know, no hot tubs, no alcohol, no smoking, etc etc).  Right as he was leaving the room he asked, "Hey do you guys want to see your baby?"  We of course said, "YES!"  I may or may not have screamed a little.  So he wheeled in the ultrasound machine....

The is the part I would like to keep private.

This is the part where in a full tearful embrace, at 1am when we finally arrived in Des Moines after the heartbreaking appointment, my Dad said, "Molly sometimes life can be a bitch."

48 hours later I was waking up in a hospital bed sobbing uncontrollably, Tom never once leaving my side. Now what the hell were we supposed to do?  What does anyone do next in a situation like this?  We'd just flipped our life upside down, made MAJOR life decisions based on one very fragile piece of life and now that piece was in heaven.  Well tomorrow I'll catch you up on what we did and where we are now.

XO XO,

Molly