The best support I got (outside of Tom and our parents) was from two friends who had gone through this same thing. They understood my irrational thinking and equalized it with their own stories. They understood the struggle to go back to the Dr. for the follow up appointment and be the only one not holding a new born or the only one not pregnant in the waiting room. They got how lost I felt...they just got it. Without those two checking in on me almost daily, my Mom dropping everything to come to Minnesota for a week (she also helped us pack because oh yeah we were still moving in less than a month), and my "rock" of a husband, I'm not sure I would have gotten out of bed ever again. I mean maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration...maybe.
But lets move on...yesterday I left off questioning how we were going to figure out what to do next.....
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At this point it was mid-June. The house was sold. Some of our stuff was already in storage. I had given notice to my boss. We had a two-bedroom apartment waiting for us in Durham, NC. I had nothing really lined up as far as work went in NC. And now, the one thing that was dictating these decisions was gone.
We were once again in a position of having to make major life decisions without much time to contemplate them.
Luckily both of our parents are pretty level headed and were able to help us sort things through. The most important being: Was Molly moving to North Carolina or not??? I answered that question pretty quickly, yes. I'm really not sure how I initially thought we were going to be ok living separately for a year. Once it was determined that I was moving everything else pretty much fell in to place.
My parents got us a P.O.D to load all our stuff that was going to NC.
It's funny because the P.O.D. was so organized until we just started throwing shit in at the end. A quick shout out to Tom's brother, Jeff. Seriously we couldn't have had a successful move without him!
After the P.O.D. was loaded and gone the house was empty. Literally. We were sleeping on an air mattress. At one point I pulled our patio lounger that was staying in MN inside so we had somewhere to sit. Luckily for Tom he only had to live this way a few days. For me? 2 months. 2 months on an air mattress is a looooong time. Thankfully Tom's parents let me move in with them once I had closed on the house.
See, Tom had to start his fellowship August 1st. The closing was not until August 12(?). And my last day of work was August 30. The best part? We had to sign papers to make me Tom's power of attorney so he didn't have to be present at the closing. I told him I get to make all major decisions now since I'm his attorney :) Needless to say that didn't go over very well!
I ended up staying in MN until the end of August. I had a few commitments to my job I needed to finish, plus I felt bad leaving them high and dry after accepting the promotion and promising them I wasn't leaving. Whoops!
The time away from Tom was tough. Again, not sure how we thought a year away was going to work. We chatted online for, like, 2 hrs everyday...
...and things got pretty serious :) I just got a little T.O'd because he never even sent me a full body shot!! Oh Napoleon how I love you! ***FYI Mom that was a quote from a movie. I wasn't doing anything naughty online :)
Finally August 30th came. I had the truck loaded up the night before, thanks to Tom's parents and brother. I worked that morning, said goodbye to work, picked up the dogs and headed out! I drove to Des Moines so I could see my parents before leaving. Spent the night in Des Moines got up at 2:45am and hit the road. It was me, the dogs, and the last of our stuff in the truck and the open road. I had all intentions of staying the night in West Virginia or Kentucky, but was making good time and wasn't tired and ended up driving all the way to North Carolina in one day. I left Des Moines, Iowa at 3:20am and was in Tom's arms by 11pm that night.
Tom took this picture the next morning with the tag "Got my family back". Melt my heart.
Yes I pretty much slept for a week straight after arriving in North Carolina. You would have too if you'd just been through what I had the last 3 months.
So where are we now you ask? Well, Tom is loving his fellowship. It's a lot of work and a TON of hours, but it's what he wants to be doing so he is happy. I came down with the hopes of being able to substitute teach but quickly realized that was not going to be a realistic option. The unemployment rate in NC is above the national average which does not bode well for me. I went to a temp agency a few weeks ago and the guy couldn't believe I had left a good job without having one in place. Obviously that was not my plan douche.
Luckily though I was able to get a job and actually started this week. I am working at a personal training studio as their office manager / website social media administrator. It is quite perfect for me.
It's weird though. Our current reality is based on decisions we made when I was pregnant. It's something I've struggled with. Like the first time we walked into the apartment and I saw that second bedroom that was going to be for the baby. Or when we were unpacking and I came across the small tub of stuff I had packed for the baby (old books of ours when we were kids and a stuffed animal). It's those moments that still make it tough, but really overall we are doing pretty well.
Thanks again for all of your support. I've missed you all and appreciate you sticking with me during my absence. I promise I'm back now :)
XO XO,
Molly
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