Thursday, February 28, 2013

Things that may or may not (but definitely did) recently happen.

1. I ate a tomato when everyone else ate CHOCOLATE birthday cake at work.  At the time this was a very hard thing to do.  I literally thought I was going to die.  But after much reflection I realized I didn't die from not having the cake, and actually felt pretty good about myself.  We won't go into the details on how I proceeded to eat a bag of jelly beans the next week.  I consider this a success!

2. I got a car wash over my lunch break earlier in the week.  I went to one of those "fancy" car washes where you get out of the car and they clean the inside while the car goes through the wash.  As I was waiting for my car to get cleaned (which technically I am still waiting because they did a terrible job) the shopaholic in me starting browsing in the car wash shop.  I looked at windshield wipers, floor mats, window cleaner, etc. etc.  I then noticed a wall of greeting cards.  I started reading through them and read one that I thought was sweet and I could send to a friend.  I also thought it would be funny to send her an air freshener.  Today as I was re-reading the card and getting ready to put it in the mail I realized the card was for a girlfriend.  As in a lesbian relationship you are my girlfriend kind of thing!  I sent the card anyway explaining that I loved her but not in a lesbian sort of way.  To the lucky recipient...it went in the mail today :) 

3. I cut myself bangs.  Tom was working one night and I decided at 11:00pm that I wanted a new look.  I felt that I had paid attention enough at the hair salon to achieve this look successfully.  I took my time (2hrs.) and succeeded in cutting bangs.  The next morning when Tom saw me his reaction was, "why the hell would you ever cut your hair like that?  Are you trying to be Michelle Obama?"  Let's just say I have been wearing them swept to the side.  No I'm not showing pictures.  I like them and so do other people, but I'm having a bad hair day today and they look exceptionally bad.  I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I woke up at 8:40am and had to chase Rocky and Addie around the yard when I let them out because they wouldn't listen.

4. Tom decided it was time to start wearing in his "Mexican boots".  He tried showing the dogs the importance of wearing them in.  Addie was not impressed.  I had to deal with him thinking he looked amazing in them.  I may or may not have had some seriously strong drinks to help get me through the night of organizing his closet and ties while he wore the boots.


5. I had my first experience with an amaretto sour and a VFW at the same time!  I learned I love both.  Kim wanted me to try an amaretto sour and since we were right next to a VFW she decided that's where I was going to try one.  We walked in in the middle of Bingo which people take very seriously around those parts.  Bunny got pissed when Betty Black won (those are our friends) and Stefano decided to be classy and drink a martini out of the only martini glass the bar had.  We didn't tell him it wasn't supposed to be yellow.  Everyone was very nice and welcoming but they did make us sign in.  It was an experience to say the least, and actually Kim and I can't wait to take Eric & Tom there!

Kim made me do this.  If you look closely you can kind of see the bangs swept to the side :)

Stefano being classy

6. I walked around with a fractured wrist for 3.5 days all the while Tom telling me I was fine.  I ended up at Tria acute injury clinic and walked out with this.


I'm sure Tom would want me to add that he did look at it and thought it was just a cyst (which was partially correct) and to tell you all how he is such an amazing doctor and all that crap truth.  I love him, but as my doctor???  Well it's hard to treat your wife I'm sure :)


XO XO,
I Want Chocolate Cake!!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

7 Dreaded Words (this is your warning that things are getting gross today do not eat while reading this post)

Last Friday I had to bring the dogs in to see Uncle Josh (Tom's good friend and our vet).  It was just their annual exam and both dogs needed to get a few shots.  No big deal right???

WRONG.

As I was hanging up the phone with the office after scheduling the appointment I heard those dreaded words.  Seven little words that you just know are going to change the rest of your week until the appointment.  Seven words that mean you can't just let the dogs be dogs.  Seven words that are the most dreaded words to a pet owner.  Seven words...that's all.
.
.
.
.
.
We're going to need a stool sample.
.
.
.
.
.
*$?@! *$&@#*!&@# =  my reaction.  Wednesday (3 days before the appointment) I pull out two plastic sandwich baggies and write in permanent marker "Rocky" on one and "Addie" on another.  I then turn the baggies inside out so when you grab the "thimble size amount of stool sample" it is in the inside of the baggie and you can zip it up with their name on the outside.  (This isn't my first rodeo.)  Finally I put the baggies in the mudroom on the door handle of the door we let the dogs out of so they are RIGHT THERE when the time comes.  I tell Tom I've done all of this and that we really need to pay attention when we let them out because we need this by Friday afternoon.  Tom's response?  "They never poop when I let them out."  Really Tom??? Really?????  That's how your going to play this game???  @^!&^@*&$

I swear once the dogs see the plastic baggies they know and get shy.  Rocky is always a private pooper, going behind the shed to do his biznezz, but Addie will normally take a shit anywhere (she's very liberal).  But once they see those baggies they're like, "Nope not pooping in the flat grassy area now, gonna go down the hill in the farthest back tree line corner.  HAHA come and find me now!"

So Wednesday was unsuccessful.  Thursday I tried hiding the baggies, but that didn't help either.  By Thursday night I was desperate.  It was late.  I was ready for bed.  It was cold and dark.  I had to let them out one more time.  So I threw on my big honking snow boots, Tom's big coat grabbed the baggies and headed out with them to try and follow them around the back yard.  Of course they go in two completely opposite directions, so I try and stand in the middle of both of them flipping my head back and forth like I'm at a tennis match.

Then it happens...Rocky starts turning circles and sniffing.  I don't want to scare him off so I stand super still and wait.  He finishes and I start to walk into the line of trees to get it and POOF! the motion sensor light turns off.  I jump and wave my hands and it doesn't turn back on.  I try and memorize exactly where I am and start walking back up the hill towards the light to get it to turn on.  Finally it turns back on.  I walk back to the place I so carefully memorized only to find no poop.  Now here is where I should have thought, "go get a flashlight" but I was tired and my brain wasn't thinking and also it was really cold.  So instead of going inside to get a flashlight I start sniffing.  Yep here I am in the middle of the night in my pj's, snow boots, and Tom's coat sniffing around the back yard for dog shit.  What has my life come to?!?

I quickly realize this is ridiculous after touching (through the baggie) the same pile of poop three times to see if its warm and go back inside defeated once again.

I had one more opportunity and I had to get both dogs to poop at the same time and be able to find it and it will be in the morning which means I have to get my lazy ass out of bed with enough time to spare for all this rigamaroll.  You can imagine how happy I was about this.  Especially when I pulled myself out of bed and Tom continued to snore away.

I sleepily climbed into my poop scooping uniform from the night before and had a come to Jesus meeting with the dogs before letting them out.  Luckily both dogs listened (there may have been some divine intervention happening too) and I was able to collect both samples for the upcoming appointment with no further problems (except getting a twig stuck in my hair).

Those of you who say dogs don't prepare you in anyway for having kids must be kidding right?!?!?  I better not ever have to chase my kid around looking for their poop in the middle of the freezing cold night in the backyard (but I guess I will if I have to).

XO XO,
I've dealt with enough dog poop for my life Molly

Friday, February 15, 2013

Starting a New Relationship (no it's not sister wives stuff)

I was quite inspired by the Ash Wednesday service I attended this week.  The sermon was about love.  How you should tell the people you love that you love them, how to love all people, how Jesus loves you no matter what, and so on.  Secretly I think it was more about Valentines Day, but whateves.

As I was sitting there I started thinking about who I love.  Tom, Tyler & Matty, My Mom & Dad, Tom's Mom & Dad, My Brother & Emily, Jeff, Ryan & Cristy, Ann and her family, Eric & Kim, My Grandma, Grandma Donna, Rocky & Addie, Aunt Carole & Uncle Larry and their whole clan, and the list went on and on and on.  (Please don't be offended if I didn't list you out specifically.  My list really went on and on and I could fill this entire blog post with the names of people I love.)  As all these names ran through my brain I realized I really am one lucky girl.  For all these people that I love, I know they love me back.  It's such a great feeling knowing you are loved, cared for, and matter.

From there my brain took a turn (I promise I was listening to the sermon at least a little) and I started realizing that often I take better care of the people I love than I do myself.  I even admitted to Tom the other night that I'm constantly thinking about how to be a good wife, and trying to come up with things that I think will make him happy.  You know what his response was???  "Molly, that's crazy.  All I want is for you to be happy.  If you are happy I am happy."  Seriously what a great husband.

So, I've decided I am going to start loving myself a little bit more.  I am going to start taking better care of myself and allow the people in my life to take care of themselves (I still love you).  I think if I love myself more in the end I'll be able to love the people in my life even more.

To kick off this new focus I've decided to give up laziness for Lent.  Yep, the Queen of Lazy Town is passing the crown on.  I think giving up laziness will actually turn out to be more than a one dimensional item.  It's not just "I won't take a nap after work", but turns into "I won't take a nap after work, instead I'll go to the gym."  See??? multi-dimensional.  Giving up laziness in turn will help me on my success journey.  If instead of taking a nap I go to the gym (which I have everyday this week btw) then I won't feel like eating crap which in turn will make me feel better about myself.  See how all this works?!?

When I explained this to my mom yesterday she said she was going to try and give up wine for Lent.  I said Jesus had wine, so she decided maybe she would give up laziness too :)

This whole process is obviously going to turn out to be a great love story and I'm sure Nicholas Sparks will want the rights to it sooner or later.  You can look for "Loving Myself" (hopefully Hollywood will come up with a better title than what I just did) in theaters Summer of 2020.

XO XO,
Loving Molly

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Second Lesson in Blowing

Over the weekend it snowed...again.  This time it was that wet, heavy snow that's perfect for making stuff.  I was feeling claustrophobic from being in the house and decided I would be a child again and go play in the snow with the dogs.  I threw snowballs at them like they were tennis balls, which was actually kind of mean because once the snow balls landed the dogs couldn't find them and kept dunking their heads in the snow thinking I was actually throwing something good.  Rocky was the winner though, finding one snow ball and eating it.

Then I tried to make a snowman, but quickly realized I didn't remember how to make one.  I ended up just getting a big lump of snow that Addie walked on and Rocky peed on.  I gave up.  I tried to take a picture of it for blog purposes, but this is what I got.

See the lump of snow?  Yeah, me either.

Then Tom decided it was time for my second lesson in snow blowing.  You'll remember from a previous post how I thought the first lesson went well, but Tom had serious concerns about my skills???  Well this time I would say it went much better (this statement was later confirmed by Tom himself).

To begin I actually remembered the combination to get into the shed where the snow blower lives (trust me that was a big deal.  Tom has given me that damn combination a million times but I never remember it.  Secretly I wrote it down and looked at it before we went out, but he doesn't have to know that.).

After carefully surveying the shed from outside to ensure there were no spiders, mice, or other animals that might attack me I entered the shed.  I actually remembered what the throttle and choke were and I was able to get the beast started all on my own.

The problem I have with blowing snow is figuring out the best route to blow to prevent the blown snow to land where I've already blown (that's a lot of blows in one sentence!).  Tom saw my confusion / frustration and helped by drawing a map for me.

No joke...this is what he gave me.  My poor sacred Coco La Palm Jamaican Resort never saw it coming (no pun intended).

After having a good laugh at the map, I realized it actually did help.  Up the center and around.  I succeeded in getting the entire driveway blown and Tom succeeded in drinking a beer and laughing at me.  After our driveway was finished Tom wanted to be able to play with his toy a bit and went to the neighbors and blew their driveway for them.  Remember the neighbor Joe who ALWAYS helps us out?  Yeah, instead of having to bake for him this snowstorm we actually got to help.  Tom blew the driveway and I shoveled the sidewalk.

After all the snow playing/blowing we I decided to warm up and watch the Grammy's.  Tom played his flight simulator and yelled from the background who he thought would win each award.

 The dogs clearly could have cared less that Kelly Clarkson was singing her heart out and winning a Grammy.

Overall, I'd say this snowstorm was a success.  Except for the fact that there were no eggs in the house, which Tom decided was the WORST THING EVER!  I will never understand this man.


XO XO,
Eggless Molly

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Gym

I have a love / hate relationship with the Gym.  I think it stems from the fact that I used to work at a gym. Also I hate exercising.  BUT I even more hate being overweight and love the feeling I get after a good workout.  So it's like a catch 22.

The problem with working at a gym is when you go to another gym you see all the problems.  You know when you are getting bad customer service, you know when you are getting the run around, you understand why a class is cancelled and can't argue about it, you see people on cell phones and can't say anything, you see staff wearing items that aren't a part of their uniform and can't say anything, and you notice all the annoying things members do and can't say anything because you are just a regular ole member and no one cares if you used to be a manager at a gym half way across the country.

On top of all of that, people at the gym are annoying.  It always amazes me when you see people driving around the parking lot over and over again trying to get a close spot.  Seriously!?!  YOU ARE AT THE GYM park far away and walk (I understand this is not applicable to the elderly and people with small children).  The women (and sometimes men for that matter) that have coordinating outfits, a full face of makeup and hair done?  ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!  You are there to sweat not look cute.  I always wonder what kind of workout they get when they come and go looking the exact same.

When I go to the gym my attire is usually hipster homeless.  It generally consists of yoga pants and one of Tom's shirts and often a hat.  Even when I was young, cute, fit, and in college it consisted of my brothers sweat pants and shirts.

Now obviously I haven't been frequenting the gym as often as I should be and I am not one to judge those people who look cute and go everyday (except I sorta just did).  Hell I would love to look like half those girls in their coordinating Nike outfits who don't get a workout in just trying to pull on a freakin pair of tights (seriously people why are tights so hard to put on?!?)  and can look good in just about anything.  I envy them, I used to be them, and I am working hard at being them again.

I have been going to the gym almost everyday, and tracking what I eat.  I use bodymedia which I really like, and actually works.  I see results and that helps keep me focused.  I just get sidetracked / frustrated very easily.  I can very quickly talk myself out of going to the gym for any number of stupid reasons which doesn't pair well with the fact that I can very easily convince myself that I deserve that piece of candy.  Yep, that one that's sitting right there just calling my name...yep that's the one.

Yesterday, unfortunately, I told myself I deserved many pieces of candy and also told myself that I didn't need to go to the gym because I'd eaten candy all day so what was the point (see how stupid my brain can be?!?).  Now today I am paying for it.  I woke up with a terrible headache and felt disgustballs.  So today, I have no excuses.  I WILL GO TO THE GYM...I WILL NOT EAT CANDY.

Also, why is candy so mean???  It tastes so good, but after you eat it you're like why did I eat that now I'm going to be fat, but then you're like oh it tasted so good I better eat another, and so the cycle continues.  I think I am learning that I just can't have any.  I know if I have one piece I will have another and another and another until I become Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda and have eaten the whole damn cake!

 

I'll keep you updated on my success (see how I said success???  I'm being positive.)

XO XO,
Positive Molly

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I Do Not Have the Taste Buds of a College Student Anymore

Last night Tom had to work.  I was being lazy (surprise surprise) and didn't feel like making myself anything special for dinner.  I looked in the fridge and the pantry and didn't see anything that looked good.  I lowered my standards and looked again and found tucked waaay back in the back of the pantry a box of Tuna Helper.  The last time I remember buying Tuna Helper was in Virginia, so we've honestly probably had it since then.  I decided it was time to part ways with the Tuna Helper and whipped it up.

Now I remember in college thinking any kind of "Helper" meal was fancy and delish.  Last night however, I realized it is neither of those things.  The Tuna Helper literally looked like the crap I was blowing out my nose a few weeks ago.  The taste??? Bland and Blander.  I tried to doctor it up with some spices but then it just became a mess of garlic salt and chili pepper.  And no, I don't know why I thought chili pepper would help.  It was an act of desperation.

As I was gagging down my dinner I started thinking about other food items I used to love, but now think are gross.
  •  Spaghetti-O's - Used to be a special day when we got Spaghetti-O's.  Now, they taste like ketchup with soggy noodles and dog food.
  • Hershey's plain chocolate - Used to be the best chocolate.  Now, unless smashed between graham crackers and roasted marshmallows, smells like feet.
  • Pizza Rolls - Used to be the best snack after school.  Now, as stated yesterday, taste like poison.
  • Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup (or any canned soup for that matter) - Used to warm my soul, now tastes like chemicals and salt.
  • Powdered Parmesan Cheese (you know the kind in the green container) - Used to cover my pizza slices in it, now tastes like shredded up paper.
Not all food items from my childhood / college life are on the bad list.  Ramen, Oatmeal Cream Pies, and Fruit Snacks will always be my friend :)

Is this normal???  Does anyone else have foods they used to love and now can't stand?  Does this taste thing correlate to money?  Like because Tuna Helper was all I could afford I thought it was delicious, but now because I can buy food that is not on the 10 for $10 list it is gross?  HELP!!!


XO XO,
MUCUS (i mean tuna helper) EATER

Monday, February 4, 2013

Blurps & Burps

Last night while Tom and I were watching the Super Beyonce Bowl, Tom asked me to scratch his back.  This is anything but rare in our house, and normally there are no complaints and snoring commences quickly once the scratching / rubs begin.  Last night however was different.  I must have broken a nail at some point throughout the day and didn't realize it.  I went to scratch Tom's back and he yelped, "Holy Cow did you sharpen your nails?!!?"  Immediately I started laughing asking, "why on earth would one sharpen their nails, and how do you even think a nail would get sharpened?  With like a pencil sharpener?"  His response???  "No with one of those popsicle sticks with sandpaper on it."  I literally died.  He obviously meant a nail file.  Yes my friends, we sharpen our nails with popsicle sticks that have sandpaper glued to them in the Mullin household.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last weekend when I was headed to the grocery store I asked Tom what kinds of snacks he wanted for the Super Bowl.  Obviously he said dip first, and second pizza rolls.  He was lucky cuz both were on sale.  The catch was that the only pizza rolls on sale were the 90 count bag.  I figured if I got the big bag they would last a while.
Yep, all 90 pizza rolls were gone in 4 days (minus the 4 that he gave to the dogs and 1 that I ate and thought tasted like poison [Tom assures me that is what they are supposed to taste like which is not very reassuring]).
He texted me today and said his burps tasted like pizza...well no shit you literally just consumed 85 pizza rolls in 4 days.  What do you expect your burps to taste like?!?!?  I mean, I love you Tom :)


XO XO,
Wife of a Pizza Roll