Happy Fall Y'All

Because I HATE Halloween we are not celebrating.  However, I do love Fall and it is just starting to look like Fall here in North Carolina so that is what we will be celebrating.  That and my love for candy corn and caramels!
Halloween was awesome when I was little.  My first "real" costume was Cookie Monster.  My Mom made my costume (she had to call in sick to work just to finish it) and it was amazing!  I'm pretty sure I was Cookie Monster until I grew out of the costume!

After the Cookie Monster years I was, in no particular order, a "Hippie", a "50's Girl" with the BEST hot pink poodle skirt, a pumpkin, and Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

Now normally I don't think I would have remembered the year I was Alice, but that year ended up being epic solely based on my Dad's costume.  See, the year I was Alice was also the year the original Batman movie came out.  Now if you've ever seen my Dad you know he has a serious resemblance to Jack Nicholson who played the joker in Batman...put the two together and you have my Dad dressed up as the Joker.  It also just so happened this was the year we were going to a big Halloween party that had a costume contest (the one and only time I think we were ever invited).  Let's just say my Dad won hands down and also scared many of the little kids in attendance (probably the reason we were never invited back!).

Seriously creepy resemblance right????

Also, how cute are Ben the cowboy and I as Alice????

After the fun elementary years of Halloween came the scary years of middle school when it was cool to go to haunted houses and right there is when I was D-O-N-E with Halloween.  I don't do well with things that jump out at me and I HATE being scared.

So tonight Tom and I will be enjoying Fall and all the pictures of cute kids in costumes on facebook.

Happy Fall Y'All!

XO XO,

Molly

 

Funny Crap Found on Groupon

Today at work I had to go through those daily deal sites (living social, amazon local, groupon) to see what fitness deals were currently running.  Well I of course got distracted looking at all of the other great "deals" on the sites.  And lucky for you came across some pretty amazing stuff that is totally worth sharing.  So without further adieu I bring you a new segment I like to call, "Funny Crap Found on Groupon".

First up we have "Silent Snooz" which I was seriously contemplating buying for Tom.  But then I got concerned.  Does "Silent Snooz" make your hair turn green?  I'm not sure there are any research findings correlating hair color to snoring.  I mean if all it took was dying Tom's hair green to get the snoring to stop we would have to have a serious conversation.  But if buying and using "Silent Snooz" turns hair green then I think the FDA or someone needs to step in.  Also, I can pretty much promise you that no one actually sleeps in that position with pleasant sleepy smiles on their faces.

Now at first glance you might think you are looking at the sweet honey bear.  You might think maybe you are looking at clear honey.  But oh no my friends look closer.  You are actually looking at "Nature Lovin' Lubricant"!  Seriously couldn't they have found a more appropriate bottle?  If a kid saw this they might try to put it on their toast.  They are advertising for a Koala type on the red labeled bottle so couldn't they have used a Koala bottle instead.  I feel like my sweet honey bear will never be the same.  Oh also, what if you were actually stupid enough to buy this and in the heat of the moment picked up your honey bottle instead of your lube bottle.  Well lets just say you would be in a very sticky situation.

A pet tent.  First of all if you were trying to sell this product wouldn't you try and get a pet who looked happy to be in your pet tent?  These cats looked pissed.  They're probably thinking, "Where the F is my litter box?  I'm an indoor cat...you're not fooling me I know I'm not inside."  Also if you put a real pet in there like a dog they would probably flip the bitch over and escape within a minute and then you would not be reading peacefully on  your lounger you would be chasing your dog.  Lastly if you're in a fenced area as in this picture do you really need a pet tent?  Does the fence not work well enough?  If you think your pet can escape a rod iron fence I'm pretty sure they are going to escape the stupid pet tent.  Just sayin'.

Now I'm the first to admit that I have absolutely NO artistic abilities, but I'm pretty sure I could have painted this picture.  In fact I'm pretty sure my almost 2 year old nephew could have painted this picture.  Who would spend $69.99 on this?  And that is the groupon deal price.  Originally it was $129.99.  I mean really.  I can splatter paint.  Does anyone want to pay me $50 to splatter paint?  That's better than the groupon deal.  I feel like this painter's mom is to blame.  Maybe if she would have just been honest with her child and told them painting might not be their best skill they wouldn't have to be trying to sell paint splatter on groupon.  I mean you don't see me trying to sell my soccer skills on groupon because my mom told me, "maybe soccer just isn't your thing...let's try something else!"  After she made me go to goalie camp and found out I was scared of the ball.

I feel like I just don't have words for this one.  I mean I get it.  Sometimes you are sitting for a long time but really it's not like you are sitting all day.  It's like a shoe insole for your butt.  Except I get the shoe insole thing because sometimes you are on your feet all day.  One time when I was "sick" I spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet.  I never once remember thinking, "man I wish I had a comfort gel toilet cushion".  I think pretty much people's main objective is to take care of business as quickly as possible and get off the toilet seat.  Am I wrong???

And that my friends is "Funny Crap Found on Groupon!"  I hope you all have a day that does not necessitate a comfort gel toilet cushion.

XO XO,

Molly

Dumb & Dumber & Blonde

Ok guys seriously I think I am getting dumber.  Like for real.  I've already been on webmd to research short term memory loss.  There was a link to take a test to see if you can remember stuff or how smart you are or something and I failed.  I mean I've never thought of myself as super smart or anything, but I tried not to fit the "dumb blonde" stereotype.  But I think it is catching up with me!  I'm worried I think...well I can't remember but I feel like it should be something I am worried about.
An example...the other night I was watching Drugs Inc. on the Natgeo channel and they were talking about the conversion of pesos to dollars and I couldn't figure it out in my head.  My brain literally went blank.  Maybe when you watch shows about Drugs it makes your brain think you are doing drugs, although I don't think so because then a lot of drug dealers would be out their pesos or dollars and more people would just watch the movie blow or the documentary on Snoop Dog Lion when he becomes a Rastafarian in Jamaica.
And now I've sidetracked my brain and can't remember where I was going next with this post.  My brain is literally blank.
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Lets just chill with this cutie for a second while I think.  Also doesn't this look fun?!?!?!

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Another example, when we were packing for the drive down to North Caroline in July I forgot to pack deodorant.  A daily routine item I completely forgot about.  I had to use Tom's deodorant the entire trip.  After two days in a car, 90degrees outside, and very rarely using the air conditioner because "we have to try and get good miles per gallon" I smelled like a man.  Also I was a little turned on by myself because I smelled like Tom but thats a whole other story for a whole other post!
I don't know what it is about deodorant lately but I also just completely forgot to put it on yesterday.  Luckily I work at a Personal Training Studio and there is deodorant in the bathrooms for people to use.
I've never been like this before.  Tom says I just have too much on my mind, but when he says that I think, "That's the problem nothing is on my mind.  I can't even think of anything that should be on my mind."  Basically I'm telling you all this so that if you see me with a weird look on my face you can rest assured I didn't just crap my pants I am just trying to think of something.  Oh, also if you ask me to do something make sure I write it down because otherwise there is a 99% chance it won't get done.  Not because I didn't want to do it or because I was busy but because I forgot.  Tom is going to reserve a spot for me in the memory care nursing home soon and update his e-harmony account...joking (hopefully)!


XO XO,
Forgetful Molly

Overwhelmed...And Part Deux

I'd first like to start off by saying, "Thank You", to all of you.  Your support, encouragement, and love is overwhelming.  Yesterday was a bit of an emotional roller-coaster that I was seriously under-prepared for.  I feel good though.  Getting my story out there.  Which was the point.  I didn't write the post so people would feel sorry for me, or tell me how much having a miscarriage sucks, or write me nice notes to make me feel good.  I wrote it so maybe other people in my situation would know they aren't alone and that we are all here for each other with an unquestioning understanding of how we feel.
The best support I got (outside of Tom and our parents) was from two friends who had gone through this same thing.  They understood my irrational thinking and equalized it with their own stories.  They understood the struggle to go back to the Dr. for the follow up appointment and be the only one not holding a new born or the only one not pregnant in the waiting room.  They got how lost I felt...they just got it.  Without those two checking in on me almost daily, my Mom dropping everything to come to Minnesota for a week (she also helped us pack because oh yeah we were still moving in less than a month), and my "rock" of a husband, I'm not sure I would have gotten out of bed ever again.  I mean maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration...maybe.
But lets move on...yesterday I left off questioning how we were going to figure out what to do next.....

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At this point it was mid-June.  The house was sold.  Some of our stuff was already in storage.  I had given notice to my boss.  We had a two-bedroom apartment waiting for us in Durham, NC.  I had nothing really lined up as far as work went in NC.  And now, the one thing that was dictating these decisions was gone.

We were once again in a position of having to make major life decisions without much time to contemplate them.

Luckily both of our parents are pretty level headed and were able to help us sort things through.  The most important being: Was Molly moving to North Carolina or not???  I answered that question pretty quickly, yes.  I'm really not sure how I initially thought we were going to be ok living separately for a year.  Once it was determined that I was moving everything else pretty much fell in to place.

My parents got us a P.O.D to load all our stuff that was going to NC.

It's funny because the P.O.D. was so organized until we just started throwing shit in at the end.  A quick shout out to Tom's brother, Jeff.  Seriously we couldn't have had a successful move without him!

After the P.O.D. was loaded and gone the house was empty.  Literally.  We were sleeping on an air mattress.  At one point I pulled our patio lounger that was staying in MN inside so we had somewhere to sit.  Luckily for Tom he only had to live this way a few days.  For me?  2 months.  2 months on an air mattress is a looooong time.  Thankfully Tom's parents let me move in with them once I had closed on the house.

See, Tom had to start his fellowship August 1st.  The closing was not until August 12(?).  And my last day of work was August 30.  The best part?  We had to sign papers to make me Tom's power of attorney so he didn't have to be present at the closing.  I told him I get to make all major decisions now since I'm his attorney :)  Needless to say that didn't go over very well!

I ended up staying in MN until the end of August.  I had a few commitments to my job I needed to finish, plus I felt bad leaving them high and dry after accepting the promotion and promising them I wasn't leaving.  Whoops!

The time away from Tom was tough.  Again, not sure how we thought a year away was going to work.  We chatted online for, like, 2 hrs everyday...

...and things got pretty serious :)  I just got a little T.O'd because he never even sent me a full body shot!!  Oh Napoleon how I love you!  ***FYI Mom that was a quote from a movie.  I wasn't doing anything naughty online :)

Finally August 30th came.  I had the truck loaded up the night before, thanks to Tom's parents and brother.  I worked that morning, said goodbye to work, picked up the dogs and headed out!  I drove to Des Moines so I could see my parents before leaving.  Spent the night in Des Moines got up at 2:45am and hit the road.  It was me, the dogs, and the last of our stuff in the truck and the open road.  I had all intentions of staying the night in West Virginia or Kentucky, but was making good time and wasn't tired and ended up driving all the way to North Carolina in one day.  I left Des Moines, Iowa at 3:20am and was in Tom's arms by 11pm that night.

Tom took this picture the next morning with the tag "Got my family back".  Melt my heart.

Yes I pretty much slept for a week straight after arriving in North Carolina.  You would have too if you'd just been through what I had the last 3 months.

So where are we now you ask?  Well, Tom is loving his fellowship.  It's a lot of work and a TON of hours, but it's what he wants to be doing so he is happy.  I came down with the hopes of being able to substitute teach but quickly realized that was not going to be a realistic option.  The unemployment rate in NC is above the national average which does not bode well for me.  I went to a temp agency a few weeks ago and the guy couldn't believe I had left a good job without having one in place.  Obviously that was not my plan douche.

Luckily though I was able to get a job and actually started this week.  I am working at a personal training studio as their office manager / website social media administrator.  It is quite perfect for me.

 It's weird though.  Our current reality is based on decisions we made when I was pregnant.  It's something I've struggled with.  Like the first time we walked into the apartment and I saw that second bedroom that was going to be for the baby.  Or when we were unpacking and I came across the small tub of stuff I had packed for the baby (old books of ours when we were kids and a stuffed animal).  It's those moments that still make it tough, but really overall we are doing pretty well.

Thanks again for all of your support.  I've missed you all and appreciate you sticking with me during my absence.  I promise I'm back now :)

XO XO,

Molly

Now this is a story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down...

I've started this post in my head a million times.  But to actually write it out, to actually put the words on paper the screen...that I haven't gotten to.  Why?  Well for starters I didn't / don't know how much I want to divulge, I don't know where to begin, I don't know what all to include, and I don't know where to stop.
I've gone back and forth.  Do I just throw it all out there?  Do I continue my cryptic version that some of you understand and some of you don't?  Do I ignore the past months on the blog all together and just start fresh?
I've had to do some serious thinking.
Then one night Tom asked me, again, why I hadn't started blogging again.  I told him that it was going to be a hard post to write.  I asked him, "how do I keep my generally light-hearted, funny tone in a post like this?"  His answer, "Molly you have no idea who all reads your blog.  It's not just the people who comment or send you a text saying they peed their pants laughing at your post.  There might be someone out there who reads your blog who went or is going through the exact same thing as you.  Maybe your story can help them, or show them that what they are feeling is totally normal."
So, here I go.  I'm writing, well typing but you know what I mean.  I'm going to start at the beginning.  That's about all I can promise.  The rest will probably be a mess of word vomit.

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Ok, the beginning.  A quick recap of where we were in March.  Tom was moving to North Carolina and I was staying in Minnesota for the year while he completed his Sports Medicine Fellowship at Duke University.  Tom signed a lease on a one bedroom apartment.  Everything was good to go.  We were trying to enjoy the last months of his residency and last months of being together before he left.
Apparently we were enjoying each other a little too much because on May 10 I turned up pregnant.  We were shocked, excited, nervous, and thrilled (we had tried to get pregnant for a year previous to applying for Fellowships and it didn't happen for us).  But then reality hit.  What the hell were we supposed to do?  Some major decisions were going to have to be made quickly.  We couldn't take the normal 1st trimester and keep the pregnancy to ourselves.  We needed help making decisions and we needed to move fast.  We made the decision to tell our parents right away because we needed them to start thinking about different options.  I also told my boss pretty quickly because I had just taken a promotion and assured him I wasn't moving to North Carolina (funny how God works!).  We then needed to contact Tom's apartment complex and try and get out of his lease.  A one bedroom apartment was just not going to work anymore.  Luckily they were amazing and let Tom out of his lease and helped us get into a 2 bedroom apartment.  This is about where we were when I wrote this post.
We decided to put our house up for sale and luckily sold it within 24hrs.  We then made a million trips to Des Moines to move most of our stuff into storage in the basement of one of my Dad's offices.  Moving from a 3 bedroom house with a basement and a two-car garage to a 2 bedroom apartment really made us evaluate how much crap we could live without.  Did you know you can live without a 12cup food processor and sewing machine?  I know mind blown..... 
Although time was moving super fast, it felt like it took forever to get to our first Dr. appointment.  I was feeling pretty good (a little nausea here and there) and everything seemed to be going well.  Finally the day arrived for our first Dr. appointment.  Tom and I were both so excited.  We had figured I was far enough along that we would be able to at least hear the baby's heartbeat and we couldn't wait.  Our appointment was in the afternoon on a Friday so Tom could be there.  We were planning on driving to Des Moines immediately following our appointment to put the Monte Carlo in storage (again, funny how God works!  You'll understand in a minute just keep reading.)
The appointment went great.  Our Dr. was very excited for us.  He went over all the rules (you know, no hot tubs, no alcohol, no smoking, etc etc).  Right as he was leaving the room he asked, "Hey do you guys want to see your baby?"  We of course said, "YES!"  I may or may not have screamed a little.  So he wheeled in the ultrasound machine....

The is the part I would like to keep private.

This is the part where in a full tearful embrace, at 1am when we finally arrived in Des Moines after the heartbreaking appointment, my Dad said, "Molly sometimes life can be a bitch."

48 hours later I was waking up in a hospital bed sobbing uncontrollably, Tom never once leaving my side. Now what the hell were we supposed to do?  What does anyone do next in a situation like this?  We'd just flipped our life upside down, made MAJOR life decisions based on one very fragile piece of life and now that piece was in heaven.  Well tomorrow I'll catch you up on what we did and where we are now.

XO XO,

Molly

 

"It's Britney Bitch and I'm Back!"

That's right I'm back starting tomorrow!  Hold on to your hats, we've got a lot to catch up on.

I've missed you.

XO XO,

Molly

Real Life

Let me start by telling you that most (not all but most) blogs are "highlight reels" of peoples lives.  What I mean by that is they share the good, a little bad, and no ugly.  And if they do share the bad and ugly its in a way that makes them look good in the end usually with a cute picture.  Well I'm here to tell you that real life...honest to good life sometimes sucks majorly.
In the last 3 months real life sucked us in, punched us in the gut, clawed our eyes out, kicked us in the balls, poured a vat of boiling slime on us and then spit us out to deal with it.  And in the middle of that our water heater went out, we put our house on the market, sold our house, the tractor broke down, the motorcycle broke down, we posted crap on craigslist to sell, went on a quick vacation, gave notice on a job, got stung by a bee on the face, got sunburnt, packed our entire house into a pod, and are now living in an empty house sleeping on an air mattress gearing up to drive to North Carolina on Thursday so Tom can start a brand new job he has had no time to prepare for.
How do you deal with real life when all of that is going on too?  The answer...you don't really.  You hold your head up high.  You wake up each morning hoping nothing else goes wrong.  You find strength in family and good friends, and you remember what your Dad told you, "Molly, sometimes life can be a bitch."  And you cry or drink whichever you are in the mood for.
Although we are still very much in the middle of "real life" right now, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I hope to be able to share our "real life" story at some point, but right now I'm not ready.  I more so hope to be able to see the silver lining in everyday situations that can bring me back to blogging regularly again.
I will tell you that as we were packing up the pod we left certain items out that we deemed important enough to need for Tom the month of July and for me the months of July and August.  You would think those items would include a few dishes, clothes, important personal documents, and a bed.  What got left out?  An exercise ball that we never use, the flour and sugar containers, some clothes, all of Tom's RC crap, and 4 air mattresses with holes in them.  Yep, that's where our minds are at right now.

Hope you all are having a wonderful not "real life" day!


XO XO,
Molly

CRRRRAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY

I apologize for my absence lately, but HOLY HELL LIFE IS CRAZY RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Tom is in his final month of residency, he actually has a "graduation" tonight.  My mom is coming into town for it.  I was out of town for a funeral.  God sent us a lightening bolt of reality telling us our "plan" for next year sucked and we have been scrambling to make a new "plan" ever since.  We are putting our house up for sale tomorrow.  We have been painting trim, taking loads to Goodwill, cleaning, organizing, mulching, planting, patching woodpecker holes, etc. etc.  We still have so much to do before tomorrow.  I'm pretty sure we haven't slept more than 6 hrs. any night for the last  3/4 weeks.  Addie decided she doesn't like grass and it takes a lot of coaxing to get her to go potty outside.  So anytime that used to be spent washing dishes while the dogs were outside is gone.  Oh we also went to a wedding out of town.  This jumbled mess of a post is how life has been lately, so again my apologies.  Tom assures me things are going to get better.  I believe him because its my only hope.
Stick with me, and I promise I will be back to blogging like normal soon (hopefully)!


XO XO

You'll thank me for sharing all of this in one post

Recent happenings that I have chosen not to write entire blog posts about.  You will understand quickly why.

• I sat on the couch and smelled a smell.  I thought Tom was making a hot dog.  I then looked to my left and saw a pile of dog poop on the floor.  Not good for hot dogs.

Yes the poop is steaming

• I have a new appreciation for a friend.  We absolutely can't stand the same person.  Have you ever noticed how if you don't like someone or something and another person feels the same way you instantly become friends?  Love it!
•  Tom and I hopped on the green smoothie bandwagon.  We are both really loving it as are our intestines.  Although the budget for Febreeze air freshener has gone up considerably.

Tom happy with his smoothie.  Check out those guns!

 My favorite green smoothie concoction so far is: 1cup spinach leaves, small handful of cucumber, small handful of celery, big handful of broccoli, half an avocado, banana, honey, water, ice.  Blend it up and drink.  I use this one for breakfast since its a bit higher in the calorie department.

• Do you ever have those mornings where the outfit you imagine in your head doesn't turn out and you don't have time to change so you just have to go to work looking like a fool in an outfit that looks terrible?  That happened to me this week.  I imagined my skirt a different color and my top a cardigan instead of a flowing top and my shoes not black.  It was bad friends.  So bad in fact I went home and changed on my lunch break.  The weirdest part of the whole thing?  No one at work even noticed I changed my clothes.  And it wasn't a subtle change.
• My work is trying to get away from the IT company they currently use.  They have asked me and two other people to be our new IT department.  I had to look up what IT stood for.  I really hope they aren't expecting much :)  I mean I was pretty sure it stood for Information Technology, but not 100%.

Thank you all for your kindness after the last post and for your patience.  I feel like real life is just boring lately.  Except I did go to a bridal shower this past weekend (for a co-worker) and all there was was wine and fruit salad.  All the church people got drunk.  It was awesome.


 XO XO,
Going to buy more Kale and Febreeze now :)

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble

My sister-in-law called me out today...
"Dude, what's up with your lack of blogging?"

Writers block, that's what's up.

I am not feeling creative or funny.  I'm tired.  I thought the sunshine would help.  Nope.

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Also I weighed myself this morning and seriously I think my body is on strike.  I am working out no less than 4 days a week (usually 5) and tracking every GD thing I eat.  My clothes are loose, I packed away my winter clothes and brought out the Spring/Summer clothes and a bunch of stuff that didn't fit last year fits now, but the scale is not going down.

It probably didn't help that I ate out Thursday night, Saturday night, and Sunday twice.  It was for a good cause however, Kim's Birthday!  The Tums and I have become quite close in the last few days.

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I've also decided I am officially old.  If Tums are now a staple in my weekly grocery shopping and Tom keeps some on his night stand, we are officially old.  We have successfully skipped parenthood and gone straight to old people.  We also may or may not have prune juice, a blood pressure monitor, and wear slippers inside.  Help.

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My work got me an Administrative Professionals day card with a gift card.  It was a day late.  They said it was because I didn't remind them.  REALLY?!?!?

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Well my friends, stick with me.  Hopefully I'll get out of this slump soon and my usual charm and wit will be back.  Until then grumble on.

XO XO

Let it Snow...Let it Snow...STOP (expletive word) SNOWING ALREADY!!!!

Oh hello...did you know it's April 19?  Yeah me either...nothing about today or this last week has reminded me that it's April 19.  I keep waiting for Easter, then realize that was like a month ago.  There is no grass, no flowers, no sun, no sandals, no nothin'.  Can you tell I'm grumpy?  I'm seriously reconsidering my decision to stay in Minnesota next year.  I think Lucy states it best...

Tru dat Lucy...True dat

Last night I yelled and snapped at Tom for no reason other than the fact that it was snowing.  He thought I was having a absence seizure, whatever the hell that is, because I was literally staring outside not moving not saying anything just fuming.  This morning I might have cried a little in my garage while holding the shovel (which I now have a very close relationship with).  There is no end in sight to this weather either.  I think it's the end of the world.  For real.  

Last night when the tornado sirens went off I literally ran around our house like a crazy person yelling, "Tornado Blizzard, Tornado Blizzard" or "Addie stop licking and get downstairs so you don't blow away in the tornado blizzard you're white and no one will find you!".  No one bothered to tell me it was the nationwide test for the sirens.  Seems to me they should test when it is actually Spring not the middle of winter.

Here are some pictures from yesterday.  I took all except the one of Twins stadium which I found online.

Isn't it just the loveliest winter we're having this Spring?  I told my work I was going to work from Jamaica next week...I don't think they realize I'm serious.  The only type of blizzard I want to see for the next 5 years is this:

I've had enough.

XO XO,

Grumpy Molly

Barre. Not Bar. Although I would probably be a lot better at Bar.

Have you heard about the new (maybe it's not new I might be behind the fad) fitness trend that incorporates Ballet???  It's called Barre or Ballet Fusion or something along those lines.  It's crazy intense, at least the ones I've gone to, and is nothing like the ballet I experienced in Ballet 101 at the University of Iowa (I may have taken that class 3 times).

The class is an hour long.  The first time I went I started out strong.  I thought, "I can totally do this!  I took Ballet 101 three times I'm totally advanced!" then we got done with the warm up.  *$&@&  THAT WAS JUST THE WARM UP?!?!?!  At one point I looked down at my watch thinking surely the class had to be almost over (it started at 5pm)...it was 5:08pm.  *#@*&^$  I'm gonna die.

The class description is something along the lines of, "This class utilizes the classical ballet style to strengthen and tone your whole body.  No dance experience necessary."  I imagined a grand piano with a live pianist playing classical music and doing some plies.  That seems realistic right?!?

The class description should be, "This class requires you to be very coordinated and have at least 5 years experience doing fitness on your tipy-toes.  You must be able to do 10 different fitness moves on your tipy-toes with your knees bent all at the same time.  You must enjoy loud dance club music with a fast beat and have quadriceps of steal."

One of the moves we recently did required us to be standing at the bar with one hand holding on for dear life the other hand holding a free weight, while we held a ball between our knees and had a resistance band around our ankles.  We were then to move our hand holding the free weight up and down and our ankles in and out while not allowing the ball to fall.  Confused???  Maybe this diagram will help...

Please take note of how awesome my bangs look in the diagram.

Needless to say I spent more time chasing my damn ball around than I did doing the move (which really wasn't so bad considering I got to take a break).  Towards the end of the class the instructor had us doing 1 minute planks followed by running man things and I literally looked at her like she was crazy and laid there in child's pose.  Just when I thought we were done she yelled "8 MORE!" and I started packing up my things.  By the end of the class my legs were spaghetti.

My bangs keep getting awesomer and awesomer.

But I didn't feel too bad because the instructors legs were shaking too.  Now the real kick in the balls???  The locker room is downstairs so after this rip roarin' fun you get to walk down the stairs and back up just to leave.  I may or may not have gone and sat in the bathroom stall and cried a little.

The good news???  After two weeks of taking this class my pants are falling off me and I'm down an additional 6 pounds.  I guess I'll keep going.

XO XO,

This weekend I'm taking the BAR class

How Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Smells, and Exclamation Perfume all go together. Also another Donkey Picture.

The sense of smell really is quite extraordinary.  Although I would much rather lose my sense of smell before losing my sight or hearing, to be able to smell is much more than actually smelling things.  Did you know you only really taste salt and the other tastes you think you are tasting are actually the smells?  (I'm pretty sure this is accurate but don't quote me.)  Smells can also transform a simple task into a long lost memory.  For example, maybe every time you bake chocolate chip cookies and smell them in the oven you are transported back in time to your grandmother's kitchen.  Or maybe every time you smell coconut your transported back to a beach with tanning oil.  Who knows?!?  Often these types of memories sneak up on us.

Well yesterday as I was busily working checking facebook for the 77th time a smell snuck into my office that transported me back to my elementary school days.  The maintenance guy was using Goo-Gone to get some sticky stuff off a cabinet.  Now you may be wondering what Goo-Gone could possibly remind me of from elementary school, but alas that is the craziness of how our sense of smell triggers these memories.

When I was little I was in love with the book / movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (the original not the creepy one with Johnny Depp).  I pretty much wanted to be Violet (the girl who turns into the blueberry) just so I could go to a place where I could lick the wallpaper and eat the marshmallow flowers.  As you'll remember she always was chewing gum...

So to really follow in Violet's footsteps I decided I would chew gum and often thought it would be cool to stick it behind my ear.  Then of course I would forget about it and shower with it back there and sleep with it back there and wake up and guess what?!?  It would be stuck all over my hair.  The first few times this happened my mom got out the Goo-Gone and was gentle and almost felt bad for me.  After it continued to happen my Dad just cut the gum out of my hair and my Mom would yell, "GET THE GOO-GONE!"  and would more or less rip the gum out of my hair.  Then to punish me she would make me go to school smelling like Goo-Gone because of course I still had to make it to the bus stop and there was no time to take a shower.  I would usually try and mask the smell with some perfume like "Exclamation" which I'm pretty sure you can still buy at Wal-Greens.  Let's just say the two smells together did nothing for my popularity at school which was pretty much already nonexistent.

Now I do take some responsibility for this, but seriously why did they keep giving me gum?  I literally got gum stuck in my hair at least once a month for years (this may be a slight exaggeration but not by much).

So yesterday, when the awful Goo-Gone smell crept its way into my office I was transported back to those hectic mornings getting gum ripped from my hair trying to make it to the bus without anyone noticing that it was me that smelled.


XO XO,
Smelly Molly

Happy St. Pat... Spring Cleaning Day!

Do you ever have those projects that aren't planned but stem from one tiny little mishap and change the direction of your entire weekend?  Since we moved into our home (in January 2011) the drawer under the stove has been slightly off the tracks.  Every time it is opened it falls crooked when it's closed again.  It's one of those things that drives you crazy at the time, but you quickly push it out of your mind because the stove is usually already turned on and hot and you need to get the skillet on it before your face burns off.

This weekend, after a full day of work, Tom had had enough of the drawer and pulled the entire thing out.  Unscrewed the hinges banged on a few sides and fixed it.  While the drawer was out we found the remaining macaroni noodles that had spilled a few months back after a late night of "spirits" and vacuumed them up, along with a disgusting amount of dog hair, a random cheese doodle, and some other questionably disgusting items found only under your stove/oven.  I then grabbed a bucket and sponge and washed the floor under the oven and around it's base.  What a nice feeling to know the underneath of your oven is nice and clean.  It will really make me sleep better at night...NOT!

 That same evening I needed to go to the store for eggs and ice.  Two items.  I ended up coming home with 3 bags of groceries and no ice.  Tom was annoyed to say the least as he had been waiting for the ice since I left and stormed out to go buy ice saying, "Tomorrow we are fixing the ice machine!"  Another little thing in our home that has never worked since we moved in.

So the next morning I woke up to the refrigerator pulled out to the middle of the kitchen and Tom telling me to see if water shoots out a tiny pipe.  This fix started the next round of macaroni noodle clean up, dog hair sweeping, and another round of sponge and bucket cleaning behind the refrigerator.  Then just as I thought everything was complete the water from the tiny pipe starting shooting water all over the freezer not just into the ice area.  We proceeded to pull everything out of the freezer give it a good rinsing off, clean the drawer bucket in the bathtub and organize the entire freezer.  By the time this ice machine project was complete we had a perfectly clean freezer, a bucket of ice, and a spotless area under and behind the refrigerator.

No dust bunnies here!

All the food from the freezer in the sink, and the freezer bucket clean!

With all the cleaning happening I'd forgotten to eat any breakfast and around 3pm was quite hungry.  With the kitchen torn apart I couldn't very well make anything to eat so I pulled a muscle milk out of the fridge and decided that would be good enough.  As I was drinking it I noticed this on the back of the bottle...

Although a donut sounded delicious the thought of crying myself to sleep sounded too depressing.

Lastly, remember this guy from the holidays???

He now has a forever home hanging on the wall of our garage.  He protects my car at night and watches over Tom while he tinkers on things (yes things because I'm never really quite sure what he is tinkering on).

Well I hope you all enjoyed your St. Patricks day more than the Spring Cleaning Day we had.

XO XO,

My Kitchen Is Cleaner Than Yours Is (for today at least) Molly

Tiny Morsels

I overslept today.  A simple sentence with many ramifications.  Oversleeping in my life equals waking up in a burst, running around with dogs chasing you because they think you are playing a game, sweating, 15 minutes of vigorous activity logged on Bodymedia, looking like crap for the entire day and a headache that can't be minimized by massive amounts of coffee.  Oversleeping basically ruins my entire day.  I called my mom on my way to work and told her I was pretty sure my outfit was illegal for church work.  Leggings with a shirt that I anticipated to be longer but really doesn't even cover my butt and boots.  It's like Julia Roberts in Pretty Women except I'm  not a prostitute or on Rodeo Drive.  Oh man, how I would love to be on Rodeo Drive right now rather than looking at more snow falling.

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Kim told me I was having a good bang day Sunday so I took a picture for all of you.  If this is what good looks like I don't want to see a picture of me on a regular or even a bad day!  YIKES!

I'm so serious about my bangs.

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Easter is coming and I couldn't be more excited.  We (Tom, Eric, Kim and myself) will be heading to good ole' Des Moines for some rootin' tootin' fun.  Yes tootin' will probably be a major source of the fun :)  My parents are very excited to have us and I am even more excited since I haven't seen them since Mexico.  Although my Mom would beg to differ and say she is MORE excited but really it's not a competition.  I'm also excited to see Ann who will be home for Easter.  But to be honest I'm a little worried that Ann and Kim are going to become besties and squeeze me out.  They have A LOT in common.

 

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I worked out everyday last week.  EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  I logged my meals.  EVERY.STUPID.THING.I.ATE.  I gained a pound.  *#&^!&*#*  I think my body is in shock.  It's like where are all the jellybeans???  Dried coconut and peaches are not the same dammit!

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Last night I had a run in with a jalapeno.  I made Jalapeno Popper Chicken.  Everything was fine until I cleaned up.  Somehow I got it all over my left hand and it burned until I woke up this morning.  It was like the Alicia Keys Song "this girl is on fire" except it was "this hand is on fire!"  I once heard that milk helps if you eat something spicy so I poured the rest of our slightly expired milk on it and that helped for a bit.  I think Addie also accidentally ate a small piece that had fallen on the floor because she proceeded to drink 2 bowls of water and was still panting all night (this is my guess as to why she drank so much and was panting but it is not confirmed nor will it be).

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The title of this post is making me crave chocolate.  Doesn't the word morsel remind you of chocolate???  Or is this just my in-shock body talking again???  It also wants me to tell you about how we saw dark chocolate covered peeps at Wal-Greens and how I didn't buy them so to retaliate my body made me trip and fall outside.  Stupid chocolate peeps.

 

XO XO,

Setting my alarm tomorrow Molly

Trouble in the Bubble

You know those nights when you have something specific to do, but it's not until later and there is nothing to do before hand so you play a game?  Yeah we didn't either until a few nights ago.  We had plans but not until later and both of us were just sitting around so we decided to play a game.  We pulled out "Trouble" which Tom apparently used to dominate with his brothers, based upon his "special" whacking skills and continuous winning.  I could have cared less if I won.  I was more concerned as to why the weird guy from "The Big Bang Theory" was stuck inside a bubble on the cover of the box with a dog.

 

I feel like there's more than trouble in the bubble.  The dog looks like its thinking about attacking or just went to the bathroom and "Big Bang" guy looks like he just spit out the dice, which could be a serious chocking hazard.  Good thing there is a choking hazard warning.  Also this picture seems like false advertising.  I mean when I opened up my box and there was no guy or dog stuck in the pop-o-matic bubble most of my excitement flew out the window.  Don't get me wrong I played anyway, just not with quite as much enthusiasm.

XO XO,

Trouble in My Bubble

Where's Molly????

My mom sent me this picture recently.  Can you find me???

 Nope not the one that looks confused or the one with the creepy eyes.

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There I am!

Things that may or may not (but definitely did) recently happen.

1. I ate a tomato when everyone else ate CHOCOLATE birthday cake at work.  At the time this was a very hard thing to do.  I literally thought I was going to die.  But after much reflection I realized I didn't die from not having the cake, and actually felt pretty good about myself.  We won't go into the details on how I proceeded to eat a bag of jelly beans the next week.  I consider this a success!

2. I got a car wash over my lunch break earlier in the week.  I went to one of those "fancy" car washes where you get out of the car and they clean the inside while the car goes through the wash.  As I was waiting for my car to get cleaned (which technically I am still waiting because they did a terrible job) the shopaholic in me starting browsing in the car wash shop.  I looked at windshield wipers, floor mats, window cleaner, etc. etc.  I then noticed a wall of greeting cards.  I started reading through them and read one that I thought was sweet and I could send to a friend.  I also thought it would be funny to send her an air freshener.  Today as I was re-reading the card and getting ready to put it in the mail I realized the card was for a girlfriend.  As in a lesbian relationship you are my girlfriend kind of thing!  I sent the card anyway explaining that I loved her but not in a lesbian sort of way.  To the lucky recipient...it went in the mail today :) 

3. I cut myself bangs.  Tom was working one night and I decided at 11:00pm that I wanted a new look.  I felt that I had paid attention enough at the hair salon to achieve this look successfully.  I took my time (2hrs.) and succeeded in cutting bangs.  The next morning when Tom saw me his reaction was, "why the hell would you ever cut your hair like that?  Are you trying to be Michelle Obama?"  Let's just say I have been wearing them swept to the side.  No I'm not showing pictures.  I like them and so do other people, but I'm having a bad hair day today and they look exceptionally bad.  I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I woke up at 8:40am and had to chase Rocky and Addie around the yard when I let them out because they wouldn't listen.

4. Tom decided it was time to start wearing in his "Mexican boots".  He tried showing the dogs the importance of wearing them in.  Addie was not impressed.  I had to deal with him thinking he looked amazing in them.  I may or may not have had some seriously strong drinks to help get me through the night of organizing his closet and ties while he wore the boots.

5. I had my first experience with an amaretto sour and a VFW at the same time!  I learned I love both.  Kim wanted me to try an amaretto sour and since we were right next to a VFW she decided that's where I was going to try one.  We walked in in the middle of Bingo which people take very seriously around those parts.  Bunny got pissed when Betty Black won (those are our friends) and Stefano decided to be classy and drink a martini out of the only martini glass the bar had.  We didn't tell him it wasn't supposed to be yellow.  Everyone was very nice and welcoming but they did make us sign in.  It was an experience to say the least, and actually Kim and I can't wait to take Eric & Tom there!

Kim made me do this.  If you look closely you can kind of see the bangs swept to the side :)

Stefano being classy

6. I walked around with a fractured wrist for 3.5 days all the while Tom telling me I was fine.  I ended up at Tria acute injury clinic and walked out with this.

I'm sure Tom would want me to add that he did look at it and thought it was just a cyst (which was partially correct) and to tell you all how he is such an amazing doctor and all that crap truth.  I love him, but as my doctor???  Well it's hard to treat your wife I'm sure :)

XO XO,

I Want Chocolate Cake!!!!

7 Dreaded Words (this is your warning that things are getting gross today do not eat while reading this post)

Last Friday I had to bring the dogs in to see Uncle Josh (Tom's good friend and our vet).  It was just their annual exam and both dogs needed to get a few shots.  No big deal right???

WRONG.

As I was hanging up the phone with the office after scheduling the appointment I heard those dreaded words.  Seven little words that you just know are going to change the rest of your week until the appointment.  Seven words that mean you can't just let the dogs be dogs.  Seven words that are the most dreaded words to a pet owner.  Seven words...that's all.
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We're going to need a stool sample.

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*$?@! *$&@#*!&@# =  my reaction.  Wednesday (3 days before the appointment) I pull out two plastic sandwich baggies and write in permanent marker "Rocky" on one and "Addie" on another.  I then turn the baggies inside out so when you grab the "thimble size amount of stool sample" it is in the inside of the baggie and you can zip it up with their name on the outside.  (This isn't my first rodeo.)  Finally I put the baggies in the mudroom on the door handle of the door we let the dogs out of so they are RIGHT THERE when the time comes.  I tell Tom I've done all of this and that we really need to pay attention when we let them out because we need this by Friday afternoon.  Tom's response?  "They never poop when I let them out."  Really Tom??? Really?????  That's how your going to play this game???  @^!&^@*&$

I swear once the dogs see the plastic baggies they know and get shy.  Rocky is always a private pooper, going behind the shed to do his biznezz, but Addie will normally take a shit anywhere (she's very liberal).  But once they see those baggies they're like, "Nope not pooping in the flat grassy area now, gonna go down the hill in the farthest back tree line corner.  HAHA come and find me now!"

So Wednesday was unsuccessful.  Thursday I tried hiding the baggies, but that didn't help either.  By Thursday night I was desperate.  It was late.  I was ready for bed.  It was cold and dark.  I had to let them out one more time.  So I threw on my big honking snow boots, Tom's big coat grabbed the baggies and headed out with them to try and follow them around the back yard.  Of course they go in two completely opposite directions, so I try and stand in the middle of both of them flipping my head back and forth like I'm at a tennis match.

Then it happens...Rocky starts turning circles and sniffing.  I don't want to scare him off so I stand super still and wait.  He finishes and I start to walk into the line of trees to get it and POOF! the motion sensor light turns off.  I jump and wave my hands and it doesn't turn back on.  I try and memorize exactly where I am and start walking back up the hill towards the light to get it to turn on.  Finally it turns back on.  I walk back to the place I so carefully memorized only to find no poop.  Now here is where I should have thought, "go get a flashlight" but I was tired and my brain wasn't thinking and also it was really cold.  So instead of going inside to get a flashlight I start sniffing.  Yep here I am in the middle of the night in my pj's, snow boots, and Tom's coat sniffing around the back yard for dog shit.  What has my life come to?!?

I quickly realize this is ridiculous after touching (through the baggie) the same pile of poop three times to see if its warm and go back inside defeated once again.

I had one more opportunity and I had to get both dogs to poop at the same time and be able to find it and it will be in the morning which means I have to get my lazy ass out of bed with enough time to spare for all this rigamaroll.  You can imagine how happy I was about this.  Especially when I pulled myself out of bed and Tom continued to snore away.

I sleepily climbed into my poop scooping uniform from the night before and had a come to Jesus meeting with the dogs before letting them out.  Luckily both dogs listened (there may have been some divine intervention happening too) and I was able to collect both samples for the upcoming appointment with no further problems (except getting a twig stuck in my hair).

Those of you who say dogs don't prepare you in anyway for having kids must be kidding right?!?!?  I better not ever have to chase my kid around looking for their poop in the middle of the freezing cold night in the backyard (but I guess I will if I have to).

XO XO,

I've dealt with enough dog poop for my life Molly

Starting a New Relationship (no it's not sister wives stuff)

I was quite inspired by the Ash Wednesday service I attended this week.  The sermon was about love.  How you should tell the people you love that you love them, how to love all people, how Jesus loves you no matter what, and so on.  Secretly I think it was more about Valentines Day, but whateves.

As I was sitting there I started thinking about who I love.  Tom, Tyler & Matty, My Mom & Dad, Tom's Mom & Dad, My Brother & Emily, Jeff, Ryan & Cristy, Ann and her family, Eric & Kim, My Grandma, Grandma Donna, Rocky & Addie, Aunt Carole & Uncle Larry and their whole clan, and the list went on and on and on.  (Please don't be offended if I didn't list you out specifically.  My list really went on and on and I could fill this entire blog post with the names of people I love.)  As all these names ran through my brain I realized I really am one lucky girl.  For all these people that I love, I know they love me back.  It's such a great feeling knowing you are loved, cared for, and matter.

From there my brain took a turn (I promise I was listening to the sermon at least a little) and I started realizing that often I take better care of the people I love than I do myself.  I even admitted to Tom the other night that I'm constantly thinking about how to be a good wife, and trying to come up with things that I think will make him happy.  You know what his response was???  "Molly, that's crazy.  All I want is for you to be happy.  If you are happy I am happy."  Seriously what a great husband.

So, I've decided I am going to start loving myself a little bit more.  I am going to start taking better care of myself and allow the people in my life to take care of themselves (I still love you).  I think if I love myself more in the end I'll be able to love the people in my life even more.

To kick off this new focus I've decided to give up laziness for Lent.  Yep, the Queen of Lazy Town is passing the crown on.  I think giving up laziness will actually turn out to be more than a one dimensional item.  It's not just "I won't take a nap after work", but turns into "I won't take a nap after work, instead I'll go to the gym."  See??? multi-dimensional.  Giving up laziness in turn will help me on my success journey.  If instead of taking a nap I go to the gym (which I have everyday this week btw) then I won't feel like eating crap which in turn will make me feel better about myself.  See how all this works?!?

When I explained this to my mom yesterday she said she was going to try and give up wine for Lent.  I said Jesus had wine, so she decided maybe she would give up laziness too :)

This whole process is obviously going to turn out to be a great love story and I'm sure Nicholas Sparks will want the rights to it sooner or later.  You can look for "Loving Myself" (hopefully Hollywood will come up with a better title than what I just did) in theaters Summer of 2020.

XO XO,
Loving Molly